Reese is Doing Just Fine and I’ve Already Forgotten Who Luke Evans Is

By: Henry J. Fromage –

Reese Witherspoon’s been getting so much press lately somebody with a tinfoil hat on may even start whispering about her recent arrest.  It seems like ever since then, she’s been landing roles left and right.  First was Passengers, the sci-fi script that originally landed Jon Spaihts his Prometheus writing gig.  Brian Kirk, of Game of Thrones and soon to be Thor: The Dark World fame, is directing, and Keanu Reeves has been attached for awhile to star as a passenger on a centuries-long space voyage who is accidentally woken up from stasis, and is doomed to live out his natural life and die on the ship before it ever reaches its destination.  To deal with this, he decides to wake up a fellow passenger to share his fate (and his heart?).

This is presumably where Reese’s newfound scream-rage skills come in

Besides, this she’s also signed onto some typical fluffy-sounding fare, Depth of Field, a real-life, albeit Americanized story of a reporter tasked by her editor to cover a major sporting event (in the original story, the World Cup, now… the Superbowl, perhaps?) despite, oh noes, her complete lack of sports knowledge or interest.  Far more interesting is her third project, Three Little Words, in which she’ll reteam with the director that helped put an Oscar on her mantel- James Mangold.  Also a based on a true story, in it Witherspoon will play a foster care caseworker who tries to convince a little girl’s biological mother to give her up (Amanda Seyfried is in talks), and allow the girl a chance at a good life.

elle woods

I’ll let you guess in which one she’ll most resemble Elle Woods

A couple of years back the racing documentary Senna stormed onto the scene with a archival footage- based, snappily edited approach that critics ate up with a spoon and UK audiences made their highest-grossing doc ever.  Now director Asif Kapadia has another subject he’ll likely use the same style on, and there should be plenty of footage to choose from: Amy Winehouse.  I’m already fascinated, and I’d say Kapadia could easily top Senna’s totals, making him the James Cameron of English documentaries.

trailer_park_shotgun

Which is kind of like saying the Warren Buffet of Shady Grove Trailer Park

Since apparently Sam Worthington’s day in the sun is past, it looks like Luke Evans may be the bland, vaguely handsome face to take his place as Hollywood’s go-to leading man in blockbusters they don’t want to overburden with personality.  Just last week, he was chosen as the new Eric Draven in relatively unknown director F. Javier Gutierrez’s The Crow remake, despite Tom Hiddleston’s best efforts (and overwhelming superior suitability) for the role.   I guess the punchline there is that he was also in The Raven, but was so forgettable in his part I’ll just skip that.  Besides The Crow, he’ll also be appearing in another unproven director, Gary Shore’s, Dracula: Year Zero, which is, of course, an origin story for our favorite non-Wall Street bloodsucker.  Dominic Cooper’s also in it… woo.  Alex Proyas, like so much else in the last few years, was once attached to direct, and his star would have been… guess who?

worthington

Aww, poor guy

This is the last Jane Got a Gun casting news, I swear.  Actually, I don’t, because this train just keeps a-chuggin’.  Anyway, finally a replacement was found for Michael Fassbender/Jude Law/Bradley Cooper/Cary Grant/your creepy uncle that gets that faraway look in his eyes whenever a Taylor Swift song comes on.  That replacement is Ewan MacGregor, making this, as many have pointed out already, a good ‘ol Phantom Menace reunion with Natalie Portman and Joel Edgerton.  Yep, I had no goddam idea Edgerton was in it either, but he apparently played Luke’s future daddy-in-law/BBQ delicacy Owen Lars, which is doubly ironic because Lars was originally supposed to be Obi-Wan Kenobi’s brother, and Joel’s real-life bro, Nash Edgerton, was stunt double for none other than Ewan MacGregor, Esq.  Circle of Life.

OwenBeru_dead

Anyway, this is what that BBQ thing was all about

About Henry J. Fromage

Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

2 comments

  1. If I’d known being a sassy drunk would get me film roles, I would’ve moved to Hollywood years ago! I love that we live in a society where scandal equals success.

  2. It certainly equates with visibility, which seems to be half the battle… at least.

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