By: Oberst Von Berauscht (Six Pack) –
Every Thursday in June I’ll be reviewing Microbudget Indie flicks which have been sent in to us for review. For the purposes of disclosure, I’ll define a microbudget film as “a movie that was likely made with a group of friends over a handful of weekends.” As a word of caution; I will be holding these films to the same standards I do of any theatrical release. Save for the technical details that the budget could not afford.
As for the synopsis, I’ll let the film’s Trailer tell you the story:
There are a lot of ideas in this bloated mess that rouse an initial feeling of amusement. Is the concept of a fake Rabbi playing dice in the ghetto funny? Certainly. And so is the idea that the latest drug craze on the streets stems from Chinese penis enhancement pills. And the bit about the main character harassed constantly by the same corrupt cop had some potential. But when these ideas are tossed about like uneaten breakfast cereal in the hands of a toddler, it makes for a more difficult viewing.
You suck at eating, Baby…
Seemingly edited by a rabid ferret with chronic masturbation issues, OGROP jumps feverishly from vignette to vignette. In fact, the few times where one shot is in continuity with another is tempered by jokes not even Dane Cook would find amusing. It is clear this film came from a pool of comedic inspiration, in desperate need of chlorine.
The shallow end at that…
In substitute of a joke or creative writing to describe my impression of the quality of humor, here’s a picture of a guy in a penis suit.
If the filmmakers can do it, why should I put in the extra effort?
The decision to cloak the antagonist in pink robes and a ski mask just looks stupid. And the actress who plays Pinky goes beyond terrible into the territory of obnoxious. Her laugh especially sends chills of violence and hatred down my spine. She might have pulled off the least convincing gangster in the history of film.
Congratulations movie, you’ve made Chris Kattan seem watchable… for shame.
Casual racism isn’t something I throw around as a criticism in movies. In the right context it can even be used as a weapon against bigotry by pointing out the worst elements of it. OGROP on the other hand chooses to populate its world with caricatures that just feel uncomfortable. The character of “Lew the Jew” might have been forgivable, as it is played with sufficient comedic skill to serve as valid satire. The film then promptly introduces “Akmal”, a turbaned Arab character, and a Chinese character so racist it belongs in a Michael Bay movie. It is always a tricky thing introducing racial humor into a film, and thanks to Sacha Baron Cohen and a few other comedians it has become increasingly common. Jokes like this need to be earned with context and good writing. Since Pinky has neither of these, it simply fails to be funny.
When you see the main character pull out a blow up doll, you don’t have to then show a minute-long sex scene for the audience to understand what it is used for. Especially if it is never going to be referenced again, and bears zero importance to the plot. In fact, I’d suggest that this film might have worked as a 5 minute long comedy sketch. The rest is just greasy, pink-slime filler made up of questionable joke parts.
And at least this stuff won’t give you diphtheria
Some of the jokes have potential to not cause your brain severe hemorrhaging. As a precaution, you might want to triple the beer count…
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a Drink: every time Pinky laughs awkwardly
Take a Drink: for gratuitous racism
Drink a Shot: for bodily fluid gags