Avengers Assemble (TV Show)

By: Kyle Daley (4 Beers) –
[ratings]

Well, a few months ago I did a review of the short-lived cartoon show The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.  Basically I talked about how awesome it was.  Recently Disney has come out with a new show based around Marvel’s iconic team of superheroes.  So how do I feel about it?  My comparisons to the two Spider-Man shows comes to mind.  This one being the lesser of the two.

A Toast

It’s always awesome seeing a collection of superheroes together for whatever reason.  It always leads to massive destruction and beating up on bad guys that brings out the 9-year-old boy in all of us.  That includes you, ladies.  Now that we got that out of  the way.

Beer Two

Good God are these scripts horrible! Much like Ultimate Spider-Man (another show I despise), these “plots” tend to go no where. It’s usually just a few quick lines to set up the villains and then we get bombarded with action scenes that serve only as filler. Really, really, long filler. Like 10-16 minutes worth. And in case you can’t guess, each episode only runs about 22 minutes. In Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, the plots took their time to let the weight of the situation sink in.  Sure, there may have been some episodes that were more action than exposition, but that usually happened when the previous episode set up the conflict, or hell, the creative team just got lazy and wanted to see Hulk beat the shit out of Abomination while Thor made lightning bolts come out of Loki’s ass; but for some reason it didn’t bother me as much.

Beer Three

Oh, now I remember why it didn’t bother me.  That show had GOOD animation.  This show’s animation is some of the laziest crap I’ve seen in years.  For a superhero show, these characters have pretty basic motions which make early episodes of South Park look like a Disney masterpiece.  Dead serious, the construction paper flying saucer in the first episode where Cartman gets an anal probe is more convincing than most anything this show does.  And that’s ironic, because Disney owns Marvel and the rights to these characters.  You’d think they’d put some effort into this show.  I mean, Hawkeye’s design is a crummy rip off of Red Arrow’s from DC’s Young Justice cartoon show.

Red Arrow
Red Arrow
Hawkeye....Seriously Disney? Were THAT lazy?
Hawkeye….Seriously Disney? Were you THAT lazy?

Above all, the sets look like garbage.  The backgrounds are lifeless, dull, and make any play put on by a high school drama club seem grand.  I’m talking Hollywood-CGI grand.  Ya know, like the Avengers movie kind of set. God Disney, do something right.

Beer Four

I would go off on my usual tangent about how there’s no Deadpool in this show, but it seems that Disney is trying to establish a universe where this show and Ultimate Spider-Man coexist.  The animation is pretty much the same, they use the same voice actors for both shows, and members of the Avengers often make cameos on Spider-Man’s show.  What does this have to do with everyone’s favorite Merc with a Mouth?  Because he recently showed up on Ultimate Spider-Man and they butchered him almost as bad as X-Men Origins: Wolverine.  So basically, I’m just afraid that they’ll ruin him here too.  It’s best to leave him out of this unless they want to continue making all the fan-boys (and girls) angrier than the Hulk.

Because this show has none!
Because this show has none!

They have also ruined some of the other characters in this so-called program.  In this particular show, the members of the team don’t feel as fleshed out.  Every episode they wake up, fight, go back to bed, then repeat until you can’t watch anymore (two episodes max).  You don’t feel any real connection to most characters mainly because they only focus on one person’s biggest trait.  Iron Man has a big ego, Hawkeye is cocky, Hulk likes to smash things, it feels like everyone on this show is flat and one-dimensional.

Verdict

zzz4beers

This show just bothers me.  A lot of it has to do with the fact that the previous Avengers show was just so awesome.  As I stated before in the review for that show, it rivaled Justice League in terms of how well done it was.  It took its time and let things build to awesome climaxes with great fight scenes.  This one is all pointless action with standard  combat that often suffers from choppiness.

This show just rubs me the wrong way.  And not the I just paid someone to touch me kind of wrong way.  I’m talking the Uncle Ernie kind of way.  If you want to see the Avengers, do yourself a favor, watch Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, or better yet, watch the movie.  It’ll be a much better way to spend your afternoon.

Fiddle

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time the Hulk (or anyone talking to him) uses the word ‘Smash.’

Take a Drink: whenever Thor summons thunder.

Do a Shot: whenever you see J. Jonah Jameson on the big screen in Times Square.

About Kyle Daley

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