By: Oberst Von Berauscht (Five Beers) –
The crew of the Starship Enterprise embarks on yet another adventure, in which they encounter Spock’s half-brother Sybock. Sybock has amassed a dedicated following due to an ability to heal wounded souls. Sybock believes that god may be found at the center of the Galaxy, and in his determination, takes control of the Enterprise. He uses his powers to gain the support of Enterprise command staff, eventually leaving Captain Kirk as the only one to oppose him.
Granted, he’s nothing if not formidable…
Star Trek has explored many frontiers in its past, scouring the Galaxy in search of the mysteries of the universe. The concept of the crew finally confronting the greatest mystery; that of God himself, was an inspired and interesting concept. There is a plethora of truly jarring images and dramatic sequences in Star Trek V, such as poignant sequence where Dr. McCoy reveals a secret about his past which is truly harrowing. There was every reason to believe that this could have been a great movie…
You see where I’m going with this, don’t you?
This was William Shatner’s first (and only) attempt to direct a Trek film, and the story itself was his idea. But while the Director is chiefly responsible for the creative decisions, Shatner is hardly to blame for the utter failure which this movie would become. Beset by studio interference, union problems, budget cuts, script re-writes, and rumors of in-fighting between principal cast members, the embattled nature of the shoot set the stage for a film that can never quite decide what kind of tone it wants to have. While often bleak and moody, the film swings wildly to paradoxical moments of humor to the point of self-parody. While the Star Trek series has often shifted tone haphazardly, it has never been as glaring as this.
The Special Effects of the film feel a step or two ahead of the original TV series, and several behind even the cheapest effects in prior films. Even Roger Corman’s Battle Beyond the Stars had this movie beat in believability.
And the spaceships had some rockin tits…
The movie is book-ended by camping sequences in which Kirk, McCoy, and Spock sit around a campfire, and singing “Row, Row, Row your Boat”… At no point in the history of man (or Vulcan) kind has any grown-up sung that song without a child in smacking distance.
There is a scene where Uhura is drafted to do a sexy dance to distract guards… This normally wouldn’t be a problem, except that the actress Nichelle Nichols was 57 years old. The result is something like watching your grandma perform a striptease….
*hurk, hurk, blaaaaaugh*
A rancid beer fart in the annals of SciFi history…
Take a Drink: when special effects feel more like special-ed
Take a Drink: whenever a philosophical discussion becomes tedious
Do a Shot: for “Row, Row, Row your boat”