By: Movie Snurb (Five Beers) –
Peter Rabbit, his three sisters, Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cotton-Tail, and their cousin Benjamin are always trying to get into McGregor’s garden to steal his vegetables to eat. However, old Mr. Mcgregor has a heart-attack and his nephew Thomas McGregor inherits his farm. As you can guess, this doesn’t go over well with Peter and his family who for some reason believe his farm is now theirs. Then when Thomas falls for Bea (Rose Byrne), who takes care of the rabbits after McGregor cooked their father and their mother passed. This also doesn’t go over well with Peter who decides to be a giant douchebag. If there was ever a movie where a I wanted to see an animal harmed it’s this one. Really Peter and Thomas, both were terrible.
Just read the books.
Uhhhh…Rose Byrne is delightful as Bea and her drawings hearken back to the time before Peter was a douche and he just liked mischief. Also, the rabbits are pretty adorable, until Peter starts talking. That’s about it.
Could’ve saved some words and given you this screenshot.
I’ve never watched a more unlikable protagonist in a film. Peter is just a dick for no reason. He has a good thing going on, and I would like to think Bea and Thomas, being adults, could work out an agreement for some veggies for the rabbits. Everyone would have a peaceful existence. Instead, he’s a dick and tries to kill Thomas, then Thomas immediately tries to kill Peter while calling him a rat, didn’t understand that one. There were a lot of moments that didn’t make sense.
So, if you couldn’t tell by the trailer or my detest for this film, this is a very unfaithful adaptation. The only things that carried over from the books are that Peter has three sisters who are triplets, he wore a blue jacket, and they had a cousin named Benjamin. Mr. Todd is barely in the movie. Their mother is dead. Thomas is a new McGregor and an idiot, who doesn’t know common knowledge things. For instance, he didn’t know what a bird was… because he was from the city? Haha, oh us city folks thinking badgers are goblins. This movie really annoyed me and if I wasn’t so tired I would’ve actually been angered when I left.
So much better!!!
Along with those city jokes, there were no jokes that landed. A few toilet humor jokes that made some kids laugh, but otherwise this is a flat movie. There is one joke that made me laugh and it’s towards the end of the movie with the female cab/uber driver. Otherwise this is a humorless, flat, boring film.
This was a funnier adaptation.
There were many things that felt crammed into this movie. Like, can humans hear the rabbits speak or is Thomas just insane? Do they not learn about animals in England? Can you just casually buy dynamite at your local hardware store? Are rabbits able to push wheelbarrows upstairs? And if someone who’s first thought at a rabbit bothering them is to put it in a bag and throw it off a bridge, wouldn’t that be a red flag that maybe I shouldn’t date this person? Also, can Bea talk to the animals? Or is Thomas mentally unstable? I don’t know…
Mentally unstable McGregor? Should’ve cast Nic Cage. Wasted Opportunity!
Peter Rabbit is an unfaithful, unfunny, and enraging adaptation. Do not take your kids to see this one, just read them the books.
Peter Rabbit (2018) Movie Review
Take a Drink: every time Peter is a douche.
Do a Shot: every time any McGregor tries to kill a rabbit.
Take a Drink: for every joke that falls flat.
Do a Shot: every time you look at your watch/phone for the time.