Star Wars: The Clone Wars (TV Review)

theclonewarsposterBy: Kyle Daley (Two Beers) –

Okay, so in hindsight, I should have tried to get this review STARTED in time to make sure it was going to be out for May 4th.  However, I totally forgot that was ‘Star Wars Day’ until I started seeing all the “May the Fourth be with You” posts on social media…mainly because I don’t believe in fake Internet holidays that don’t get me a day out of work (that includes you, ‘Talk Like a Pirate Day’).

So anyway, Star Wars: The Clone Wars is (yet another) cartoon show that is supposed to fill in the events between Star Wars: Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith.  It also ties in with the previous 2D series that shares a name.  It shows the corruption in the Galactic Senate (because even in the future [past?] {am I allowed to put a parenthetical phrase within a parenthetical phrase?} the politicians are assholes), the hardships of war, and light saber battles.  Those are always awesome, and if anybody says they’d rather have a phaser over a light saber is not a real human being.

A Toast

Before I go on, I should mention that this show’s “debut/pilot” episode was a full length feature movie that hit theaters back in 2008.  To be fair, the film was actually decent, but it would have served much better as a three-part episode rather than a movie.  This is mainly due to the fact that it literally just felt like three episodes of the television show rolled into one 90 minute block.  So this review will include the movie as a part of the series… because it is.

At any rate, this show is way better than anything the actual prequel trilogy has ever created.

We know, everybody talks shit about that trilogy, let's move on.
I know, everybody talks shit about that trilogy.  Let’s move on.

Seriously though, it has everything you want from a Star Wars show… except a naked Natalie Portman.  The plots are actually deep and not only deal with smashing battle droids, but also a lot of the political side of war as well.  There’s always some scheme being hatched by a crooked politician, or the soon to be Emperor is taking advantage of the Senate’s bylaws in order to further his own goals.  I give the show a lot of credit for doing this because it acknowledges that the viewers aren’t dumb, but keeps things simple enough for everyone to follow.

The animation is astounding as the worlds include so much detail that you want to jump in your space ship and jump to hyper space just to see them!  Also, the action scenes are a ton of fun.  The explosions, the blast shots, the light saber battles [drools], are all something to behold.  Plus, this show gets war in the sense that it doesn’t sugarcoat everything, especially death.  I mean, seriously, I can’t even count how many clone troopers get killed in this show.  There’s always a gigantic battle that makes you want to push ‘start’ and join in on all the CGI fun!

The characters are all pretty fleshed out and the voice acting is pretty good too.  The best is by far James Arnold Taylor as Obi-Wan Kenobi.  He does an amazing job showing the struggles Kenobi has to deal with.  Not just on the battlefield, but also what he has to endure still playing the role of teacher to Anakin Skywalker, who does not listen EVER.  Plus, he does a great job with the sarcasm as well.

All your favorites are here or make an appearance.  Chewbacca shows up, Yoda, C-3PO, RD-D2 and so forth.  However, this show had added some new characters to this universe, and one in particular stands out: Ashoka Tano.  She is the new apprentice to Skywalker, and aside from being a studious padawan, she is also totally badass!  Quick witted, keen with the force, and totally awesome with a light saber, Ashoka is a much better addition to this Star Wars universe than a certain OTHER character that I won’t mention here…which brings me to the show’s biggest flaw and beer number two.

Beer Two

This guy shows up once every few episodes:

Do I need to go on?
Do I need to go on?



So this is definitely a hard two beer show.  Yes, I find the animation and story telling to be excellent with a voice cast that is pretty solid, but Goddamn it, Jar Jar just ruins everything!  It doesn’t matter how many episodes he’s NOT in, even three seconds of his screen time is enough to make my eyes scowl and teeth grind!

However, other than that show is pretty entertaining and does a great job of filling the gap between Episodes II and III.  A must see for any fan who totally can’t control their nerd boners in anticipation for next Summer’s “Guy Movie Season.”  (Seriously, between Episode VII, Avengers: Age of Ultron, and Batman vs. Superman, I really can’t control what’s going on in my pants thinking about it.)


Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time someone says “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

Take a Drink: every time someone says the word “force.”

Take a Drink: every time you want to kill Jar Jar Binks.

Take a Drink: every time there is a reference to the Original Trilogy.

Take a Drink: every time a clone trooper or battle droid gets killed (WARNING: Only use this rule if you’re pre-gaming in a hurry and need to leave the house in 30 minutes or less!)

Take Two Shots: for every Wilhelm Scream you hear.

About Kyle Daley

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!