Gravity (2013)

gravityposterBy: Hawk Ripjaw (A Toast) –

When was the last time a movie was filled with thrills that were almost literally nonstop? Unstoppable? Speed? Do you like your movies with plenty of suspense and none of that nonsense “down time?” Alfonso Cuaron agrees, and now he’s got a film for you that is unconcerned about all of that silly romance and twisting plot.

Sandra Bullock and George Clooney are practically the lone faces in Gravity, and they’re thrown together into dire circumstances after the destruction of a Russian satellite sends debris hurtling towards them, smashing their shuttle and detaching Bullock’s character Dr. Ryan Stone from her tether. From there, it’s all about survival and just a hint of spirituality. It’s all very basic, no-frills storytelling that keeps the dialogue to a premium while Dr. Stone experiences worse luck than John McClane…IN SPACE.

A Toast

Alfonso Cuaron, responsible for many a film class circle jerk for his (admittedly incredible) long takes, pushes his own limits once again for an opening shot that last at least ten minutes. There are a lot of these in the film, and they’re all completely beautiful. The cinematography as a whole is great, in fact; multiple shots of Earth will take your breath away, and excellent use of those gratuitous “things flying at the screen in 3D” shots will make you forget how badly the format was desecrated in Piranha 3DD.

A lot of people are talking about how hot Sandra Bullock is when she gets out of her space suit and is only wearing a tank top and short shorts. This is true, but more important here is her acting, which is fantastic. Every piece of her acting down to the way she breathes was factored into the character of Ryan Stone, and the emotional performance delivered by Bullock here is good enough to be deserving of an Oscar.


The soundtrack, too, is magnificent. I want to have sex to this soundtrack. It would be very tense, unnerving sex but what else is new? It’s tense, soaring, and rigidly energetic (ha! More sex puns!) and enhances the mood of the film exactly as a soundtrack should. The sound design, by extension, is Oscar-worthy. All of you bitches that have to remind everyone that there is no sound in space can rest easy, as those booming explosion sounds from the trailer are not present in the movie. Everything else, from the slight underwater-esque sounds heard by an astronaut in a spacesuit, sound just like they should.



This movie is more exciting than Blake Lively telling you she’ll ride your pogo stick if you can find her tickle spot. It will take your breath away and you’ll be on the edge of your seat for 90 minutes. This is the film to beat come Oscar season.


Drinking Game

Take a Drink: Every time something bad happens.

Do a Shot: Every time something explodes.

Do a Shot: Whenever George Clooney starts to tell a story.

Take a Drink: For each additional minute a long take lasts.

Take a Drink: For every perspective shot of Earth.

About Hawk Ripjaw


  1. Gravity is cemented in my top 10 of 2013. What a film! This was like Jaws in space and the predator was the debris across space trying to take out our hero, Dr. Stone. I couldn’t believe how many times my jaw dropped or gasp in amazement. Sandra Bullock must get an Best Actress nominee and scoot over Tom Hanks, Will Smith. We have another who can carry the bulk of a film alone. The music wasn’t overblown, Steven Price used necessity in the musical overtones and bringing the quietness of space can be until the (beeps) hits the fan. I loved this movie! A+

    • Agreed- an absolute thrill-ride from start to finish. Sounds cliche, but this is one of the few films out there where this absolutely applies.

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