Oh What Big Teeth You Have (2014) Movie Review: Packs a Bite

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time a dog barks.

Take a Drink: whenever there are newspaper clippings.

Down a Shot: when dog shit is put in a coffee can.


By: Mitch Hansch (Two Beers) –

As of recent, people are wary to be out in NYC’s spacious Central Park late at night.  Four people have met their gruesome demise by the hands of a serial killer only to be linked by being dog owners.  Some park goers are panicked, some are going about their daily routines, while others are taking it upon themselves to police the wrongdoings of anyone out and about.


4 out of 5 dentists agree… Getting eaten to death sucks.

A Toast

First time director Jillian Cantwell crafts a horror treat in the short film Oh What Big Teeth You Have and proves that behind the camera she has some real bite.  Cantwell’s short clocks in at 11 minutes and utilizes excellent color schemes, a strong score that’s a must have for a horror film, a twisted twisty ending, and most importantly, it’s money-shot gore scene won’t disappoint.

Beer Two

I wasn’t 100 percent behind the choices of Clint Carnahan.  I was confused if there was supposed to be a possible attraction between male lead Patrick, played effeminately by Carnahan, and the female lead, played by Rylie J. Neale.


Will they, won’t they? Are they, Aren’t they? And other vague questions…


Cantwell delivers the goods with Oh What Big Teeth You Have and is a talent to keep your eye out for.


About Mitch Hansch

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