By: Henry J. Fromage (Six Pack) –
Replicas is produced by Company Films and brought to you by Entertainment Studios Motion Pictures. It’s about the soul-less robotic replacement of humanity.
It’s the kind of film that casts Keanu Reeves for his charisma.
Replicas stars Keanu Reeves as a scientist who has the ability to transplant the very human mind and Thomas Middleditch as a scientist who can grow functioning human bodies from DNA samples. They’re best buds and work in a nondescript lab in Puerto Rico and Keanu’s family dies in a car crash so you know what they’re going to do and also there’s robots Keanu used to put minds in and the military, something, something. It’s all very Entertainment Studios Motion Pictures.
I mean, this is almost as entertaining for all the wrong reasons as you hope it’ll be. Whenever it tries to do things like CGI or emoting, it’s pretty hilarious.
I know you’re going to be surprised to hear this, but the plot is exclusively of the connect the dots variety. You can tell that the script started as a one-page bullet-pointed summary and was punched up by whoever the Entertainment Studios Motion Pictures equivalent of Ehren Kruger is.
What this produces are ostensibly sympathetic characters who display a deeply hilarious nonchalance about “breaking every natural law that exists”. Seriously, Dick Cheney would be, “Let me think about this for a minute” after roughly five minutes of the moral quandaries Replicas treats like everyday occurrences for these people.
I have another theory- this is the championship round of an annual wooden acting contest (which Keanu is clearly the Tom Brady of), and I have exciting news to share- there’s an upset!
Every bizarrely delivered word out the villain’s mouth is a treasure.
Did I mention the bad CGI? Did I need to mention the “this is a tax break or possibly a The Producers-style scheme” level of production values? Will you believe me that this film steals the design of its graphics from 2004’s I, Robot and looks far worse than that film made 15 years ago?
I mean, I know you will.
The ending. Will Keanu end up with (most of) his dead family with essentially zero consequences? Will robo-Keanu (shush, you’ll see it coming immediately) become king of the world or at least Dubai? Will there be a sequel?!?
Replicas is a very modern, very stageplay interpretation of a interesting history that may have been better presented in the film’s own trailers.
Replicas (2019) Drinking Game
Take a Drink: whenever anyone is hooked up to a machine of any sort
Take a Drink: every time Thomas Middleditch delivers a line like it’s physically paining him
Take a Drink: every time the villain speaks, just, period
Take a Drink: every time somebody does something ethically dubious to the extreme
Do a Shot: every time Keanu admits something incriminating with only the barest of prompting