By: Henry J. Fromage (Six Pack) –
It seems like we’re in full-on roaring 80s nostalgia as a cultural moment, and movies like Turbo Kid and Kung Fury have given way to full-budget smash hits like Stranger Things and Ready Player One (in both its iterations). Now is about the time that Fury of the Fist and the Golden Fleece comes along.
IMDB has the plot summation as “The biggest porn star of the 1970s must reclaim his mojo in the ’80s by saving all male kind, fighting his way to the heart of a conspiracy to sell meat pumped full of estrogen to emasculate men.”
Let’s go with that.
It’s clear everyone involved with this production was having a hell of a lot of fun and such an enjoyably nutty and referential production clearly captured the imagination of potential contributors, as the film is chock full of familiar faces who you’d never expect to see in something like this for various reasons.
There’s also a deep appreciation for schlock classics from the 80s, as the extended opening homage/spoof of The Last Dragon proves. It doesn’t include Taimak, but never fear, he shows up later. It’s that kind of production.
I also have to toast the similarly random sense of humor that hits on the money sometimes.
Sometimes it doesn’t, though, and Fury of the Fist have a habit of Family Guy-ing a joke to death. I’ve never been a believer in the “elongating things until they’re not funny anymore and then eventually funny again” approach. Usually it’s just never funny again.
This is true pastiche, in the dictionary sense. It seems like this film sprung from a massive brainstorm session of everything the writers could remember from the 80s, but at least half of the writers were actually born in the 90s.
Explaining 2007 Joker, I guess?
Ultimately Fury of the Fist is mostly a vehicle for purposely poorly choreographed action sequences of match-ups you never knew you wanted, like:
Goldberg vs. The Last Dragon
Don Frye who is representing either Hulk Hogan, Jesse Venture, or Roddy Piper in this (depending on the scene) vs. old European dude who is maybe the Terminator but also constantly called a lizard from They Live.
Iron Fist vs. Heath Ledger Joker
Jean Claude Van Damme’s daughter vs Oliver Stone’s son (who are also the romantic leads, I guess?)
Let me be clear, though, you may not have known you wanted these, but you do now (and there’s more I didn’t tell you about!)
All the awful CGI blood effects call to mind today’s no-budget actioners, not yesterday’s. Frank Henenlotter didn’t need no damn CGI to create gore-tastic 80s splatter (although, admittedly, he probably didn’t need no damn professional standards and practices, neither).
Nothing about this is kosher.
It’s really, really hard to tell when this film is actively trying to be bad, or just achieving it honest. That’s kind of the point, I suppose, but if you’re not drinking along with it, God help you.
Fury of the Fist and the Golden Fleece is exactly the kind of uncompromising schlock that makes for one hell of a drinking game movie. Enjoy responsibly.
You can watch Fury of the Fist and the Golden Fleece for yourself on VOD on Friday, May 25th. Six Pack heavily encouraged.
Fury of the Fist and the Golden Fleece (2018) Drinking Game
Take a Drink: for 70s or 80s (or 90s or 2000s) reference. Careful.
Take a Drink: for every B to Z-list actor cameo
Take a Drink: whenever blood or, *ahem* other fluids spurt or hit the camera
Take a Drink: whenever somebody hits a woman who’s not a woman
Do a Shot: for showdowns you never knew you needed in your life