Trailer Reviews: Atomic Blonde and The Emoji Movie

By: Hawk Ripjaw –

Atomic Blonde

I’ve always been a pepper head, but lately I’ve been challenging the level of pain I can tolerate with the angriest hot sauces I can find. I have to raise the bar for how spicy I can handle. The last few years of action movies have been following a similar blueprint. Everything has to get more ridiculous. Everything needs a longer take, harder hits, more actors doing more dangerous stunts, and higher body counts. Atomic Blonde is the newest attempt to raise the bar. And like when I won’t complain when I find a hot sauce angrier than I’ve ever tasted, I certainly won’t complain. When action movies continuously attempt to raise  the bar, we all win. 

Beer Prediction

All are welcome in the House of the Action Movie Renaissance.


The Emoji Movie

Darkness falls across the land

The Emoji Movie is close at hand

Characters crawl in search of blood

Infesting the latest animated dud

And whosoever shall be found

Without the will to carry on

Must fall before this movie’s hell

And rot inside their mental shell

The pain of all is in the air

The screams of infinite despair

And Emoji borne from every tomb

Unite for everybody’s doom

And though you fight to stay alive

Your soul starts to wither

The world will not escape

The evil of the Emoji Movie

Beer Prediction

I’m probably going to watch this aren’t I?

About Hawk Ripjaw

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