By: Hawk Ripjaw –
I think Tom Cruise gets a bad rap. Sure, he’s fucking crazy and The Mummy is one of the most hilaribad movies of the year, and Scientology is more sinister the more we learn about it, but the guy has charisma. Whether that’s a result of successfully lowering the thetons or whatever they’re called, or it’s just because Cruise is really good at getting people to like him, most of his movies make good money because Cruise has an amazing screen presence. That’s pretty much the only reason I would watch American Made, since running drugs and contraband aren’t things that generally interest me. I like reading up on the Cold War, but cartels have always unsettled me to the point of wanting to avoid learning too much on them. However, the ace in the hole American Made may have is director Doug Liman, who directed Cruise in that science fiction movie that no one can decide the title of. Is it Edge of Tomorrow or Live Die Repeat? Also, why do we keep calling it underrated when nobody can shut the fuck up over how much they loved it? Make up your mind!
I’m putting my chips on Liman, even if he does decide to change this movie’s title in five months.
Battle of the Sexes
I didn’t even hear about this movie until I saw a trailer for it when I went to go see….something I can’t even remember. Maybe it was It. Maybe it doesn’t matter, because the movie takes two people I really admire (Steve Carell and Emma Stone) and combines them with something I really can’t stand (Tennis, unless maybe Mario is playing it). Of course, Battle of the Sexes is probably really about tennis as much as Arrival is about a alien invasion. I didn’t know much about the iconic tennis match between Billie Jean King and Bobby Riggs, but I did a quick read-up and confirmed that this was an important piece of history in terms of gender equality. I’m not entirely sure why males felt that a game where you smack a ball with a racket is something women should have no part in, but we’ve been doing that shit for years so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised.
What’s not surprising is that both Carell and Stone look like they’re bringing their A-game once again, so we definitely have something to look forward to.
I don’t know what compelled some asshole to make a sequel/reboot to a Joel Schumacher movie starring Kiefer Sutherland killing himself to see what was in the afterlife before bringing himself back, but here we are. While the concept is interesting enough, the trailers for the Flatliners 2017 edition is pitching a very generic story with shots of five very attractive people immediately after dying. I don’t know what that’s supposed to do for me, but it didn’t work. What’s more, something comes back to haunt each of them, and it appears to be specifically tailored to something bad they’ve done in the past. Now that makes me curious, because I have to wonder how someone trying to strangle you with a plastic bag while you’re driving ties back to a sin of the past. I guess you could argue that the trailer has done its job in terms of intriguing me, but I would argue that intrigue and stuff that really don’t appear to make sense are quite different.
Yeah, because the one thing I want in escapist entertainment is the idea that the final release from this mortal coil is even shittier than being alive.
‘Til Death Do Us Part
Ah, yes–once again, it is time for another erotic relationship thriller. Ever since The Boy Next Door, which I still regard as a modern classic shlock classic, I’ve been waiting for another movie to meet that bar. For the past couple of years, studios have been trying, with moderate success including this year’s When the Bough Breaks and disappointing misfires like Unforgettable. It’s hard to say with ‘Til Death Do Us Part, since while domestic violence is never a laughing matter this movie definitely seems like one. At the very least, I can get on board with some scary stuff apparently involving a baby, the evil husband trying to creep the main character out by playing a piano, and Taye Diggs getting his ass kicked protecting the damsel in distress.
There’s only one way to find out how bad this will be, so I guess I’ll bee seeing this soon.