Trailer Reviews: American Assassin & mother!

By: Hawk Ripjaw –

This week, the movie everyone Hawk was really looking forward to sadly got delayed to late October. That movie, of course, is All I See Is You, a “romantic thriller” about a guy with a blind wife who gets an “oh shit, I’m ugly and now she knows it” moment when a medical procedure restores sight to one of her eyes. That sounds like it could be hilariously awful, so it’s still on my radar. 

American Assassin

American Assassin, apart from being one of those “we don’t know what to call this movie so let’s take a word and put ‘American’ in front of it” movies, is enticingly bristling with a possibly-fatal level of machismo. It’s base, for sure: Dylan O’Brien plays a guy whose girlfriend is killed by terrorists, so he asks Michael Keaton to turn him into a killing machine.

Much has been said thus far by fans of the book: this is, apparently, a long-running series about a stoic, meticulous government agent. As you can see from the trailer, the film adaptation dispenses with all of that boring Tom Clancy bullshit in favor of O’Brien killing a bunch of people in a very loud and violent fashion, as well as battleships crashing into each other and nuclear bombs creating shockwaves that destroy helicopters. Because that’s America. That’s manly. Dicks will be measured. Words will be said.

Beer Prediction

It’s disgusting and I want it.



I have a weird relationship with spoilers. Sometimes I can’t resist seeking them out, and find myself very upset upon finding them. Or maybe I’ll just accidentally stumble across one, and while I like having all of the facts, I simultaneously hate getting spoiled. That all changed two years ago, when I accidentally found out that Han Solo would be killed in Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

Since then, I’ve vowed to avoid spoilers when I can, and it’s been working well. It helps, too, when marketing directly avoids giving anything away. I can applaud whoever is behind the marketing for mother! because I’ve seen multiple trailers for it and I still don’t know what the hell is going on. We know that it has a bunch of great actors, and we know that some seriously nerve-scraping shit is probably about to go down. That’s plenty reason for a Thursday night showing.

Beer Prediction

If nothing else, this movie is responsible for bringing Darren Aronofsky and Jennifer Lawrence together as a couple. How adorable!


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