By: Hawk Ripjaw –
Bullet to the Head
I respect any movie that doesn’t lie about itself in the trailers. The trailers for Sylvester Stallone’s Bullet to the Head are a perfect example: lean, brutal, and exactly what we want from a 80s action star comeback vehicle. I do question the inclusion of Sung Kang and the possibility of this turning into a buddy film (Something I generally hate more than Ben Affleck hates putting in an effort), but they seem to have some decent chemistry with each of them firing off amusing (and bad) one-liners. As creepy as it is to see someone as old as Stallone all muscular and tattooed, he still looks like he wrecks some shit here. Other things to be excited about: an axe fight, and apparently Christian Slater gets blown away with a shotgun. These are things I am OK with.
Stallone looks like the Crypt Keeper on steroids, but with Walter Hill (The Warriors) directing, this should be a pretty good action movie.
MOTHER OF GOD
Technically, we already have a review for this movie on the site, but I’m going to go with my own predictions on how this will do anyway. For some reason, this trailer rubs me the wrong way. Look! It’s funny because zombies can’t talk! Ok, seriously, if you think about it, a sentient zombie with an inner voice makes about as much sense as llama wearing a human condom. Silly llama, that condom is for people. You should have worn a llama condom. I also have the distinct feeling that all of the funniest bits are in the trailer, though the inclusion of the Black Keys is good.
It was their best album, and the sooner we can agree the sooner we can move on.
I just get a bad feeling about this one, like I’ll either be bored or annoyed. People that aren’t bitter assholes might disagree.
This one looks pretty good, and the fact that Al Pacino, Christopher Walken, and Alan Arkin are all involved has me very much on board. That’s why it’s a little weird that something seems…off about this trailer. It certainly seems like there might be some tonal unevenness. I love everyone involved, but is this a drama? A comedy? A bit of both? There’s also a shot in the trailer of Pacino and Walken wielding guns, which might point to a “blaze of glory” that personally, I would not enjoy. More troubling is the fact that the theater count got scaled back at the last minute—it’s not a wide release anymore, which might point to the studio not having much faith in the film. I guess we’ll find out soon, but I’m still holding out hope that it might be all right.
I’m hoping for the best, but I’m also worried this might turn out to be a situation like what happened with Extremely Shit and Incredibly Shit.