The Toxic Avenger III: The Last Temptation of Toxie (1989)

By: Oberst Von Berauscht (Six Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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After the one-two punch of tasteless masterpieces comes The Last Temptation of Toxie, in which the heroic Toxic Avenger finds himself joining up with the evil Apocalypse Incorporated, who he fought in the last movie, and seems to have totally forgotten about.  In doing so the evil conglomerate once again wreaks havoc on Tromaville, New Jersey.

A Toast

This film features some wonderful gore effects, most notably the sequence where Toxie melts away in suitably grotesque fashion.  I admit there is something intruiging about the fact that a film featuring so many cheap laughs is also making statements about social responsibility using religious allegory. Of course, the political agenda this film explores is about as deep as a kiddie pool, with only slightly more bodily fluid…

You… really don’t want to know about Toxie’s fluid… seriously

Beer Two

The unfortunate thing about film series in general are the dangers of over-familiarity.  I’m reminded of Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, where the storyline isn’t necessarily any less stupid than the previous movies, but the amount of care that went into the earlier entries is completely absent.  This is Toxie on autopilot (which is admittedly still better than Superman IV).

Beer Three

Wow, if pre-Toxie Melvin was obnoxious, they up the ante big time in a sequence where Toxie is turned back to his earlier self.  If this is how Melvin acted all the time, no wonder the crazed Jocks tried to murder him in the first movie.

Killitwithfiiiiiiiiire

Beer Four

While the Toxic Avenger series isn’t known for its writing, this time around the attempts at humor fall flat more often.  There are still some comedic set-pieces that work.  But I found myself bored with later moments.

Beer Five

And speaking of boredom, the movie is again over 100 minutes long.  If you’re allergic to MSG do not watch this movie, the filler will make your airway close up and give you hives.

Here, use one of mine

Beer Six 

I have to hand it to Director Lloyd Kaufman, he somehow managed to turn the Toxic Avenger series into a Jesus allegory.  And apparently the movie had a $2,000,000 budget. Good on him, he certainly made… another movie.

The Magnificent Bastard strikes again!

Verdict

Do yourself a favor and just buy a keg.

 

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: for the body-count.

Take a Drink: for religious symbolism.

Drink a Shot: for each of the five levels of doom.

About Oberst von Berauscht

Oberst Von Berauscht once retained the services of a Gypsy to imbue in him the ability to accurately describe the artistic qualities of a film up to seven decimal points. To maintain this unique skill, he must feast on the blood of a virgin every Harvest Moon, or failing that (and he usually does), he can also make a dog do that thing they do where they twist their heads slightly (you know, when they're confused about something) at least a few times a week. I've gotten way off track here... The point is, Oberst is one of the website's founders, so... yeah

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