The Weekend Pregame: September 30th

By: Marielle

50/50 –

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is in my top five favourite actors. He’s skilled at both comedy and drama. Seth Rogen is usually entertaining, even if he’s always the same type of character. And cancer, well, it’s skilled at both comedy and drama, and it’s always the same type of character.

The story is possibly a tear-jerker, since no one wants to go with the cheesy survival ending. But, I’ve heard the story is autobiographical, written by Will Reiser, a man who looks like a disturbing cross between Will Arnett and Elijah Wood. I assume not from beyond the grave…

Beer Prediction

If JGL is there, I’m sold. And the story looks good, blah blah blah.

 

Dream House –

This is a confusing trailer that seems to give away THE TWIST!

His family’s dead! There are also creepy things scaring the supposedly dead people. And, for some reason, James Bond can see them because he’s the killer. How does he know this? The townspeople, who don’t seem to recognize him, are his informants. I know if a dashing, blonde British dude in my neighbourhood killed his whole family, the first thing I would do is forget what he looks like.

So, there must be much more to it. Like, the whole neighbourhood is dead! And those creepy people are really the living ones. Ooh, I bet the little girls have something to do with it. Little girls are always scaring the shit out of everyone.

Beer Prediction

I’m sticking to a middling beer amount for this. It could go either way.

 

What’s Your Number? –

This is your classic rom-com that’s trying not to be your classic rom-com, so it ends up falling into a different yet, in the end, really similar set of cliches. Look! Anna Faris is cooler than Kate Hudson: she’s kind of a silly, funny chick that even a male audience can relate to. Except she’s into fashion, fruity martinis, and superficial traits when it comes to dating. But, look! Chris Evans is awesome: he was CaptainAmericaand Lucas Lee. Except he’s really just your sexy, blue-eyed, friend-shockingly-turned-romantic-interest-she-just-didn’t-notice-for-some-reason type. So, look! Uhh, token black guy?!

I’m going to run this reference into the ground!

Beer Prediction

In the end, we have another stupid movie that encourages and enables the audience to act just as stupid in real life when it comes to their relationships (which is the only thing women ever think about.) I’m just like Anna Faris in that movie, you guys! Yeah. And that’s why nobody wants you. Thanks for continuing to make women look hopelessly lame, you guys.

 

Courageous –

For me, this is the male equivalent of I Don’t Know How She Does It with a Christian slant. The story’s focus is a group of male cops struggling to figure out what it means to be real men in their jobs and as fathers. When some unknown tragedy strikes, their faith is tested. They all band together to do… something. It’s probably brave and good and manly.

This is what “courageous” means to Google Image Search.

To its credit, Courageous recognizes that men can struggle with family and work just like women do. But to its discredit, it seems really boring. It’ll be a string of dudes having heart to hearts and giving sermons about what God expects of them and how apparently boys without fathers are royally screwed. I’m getting the feeling that God is the foundation of all the characters’ solutions, so those immoral atheist families are screwed, too. What I’m not getting the feeling of is a realistic execution of the passionate subject matter.

Beer Prediction

It gets the same as the Sarah Jessica Parker joint because it feels just as boring and sadly predictable. But, I’m sure your local youth group will love it. They’re not going to be drinking, anyway.

About MovieBoozer Staff

International Network of Volunteers, Movie Buffs, and Lushes. Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

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