By: Marielle -

The Dark Knight Rises -

Another massive weekend is here (only the biggest of the summer–nay–possibly of the whole year?!-speculative punctuation points-!?*) Like with The Avengers and Prometheus, I feel the build-up to this one is so huge in the online community and beyond (like, walking around and talking to other humans, outside) that anything I have to add is superfluous and reeks of smelling my own unnecessary farts. (For more on necessary farts, see All Holidays Featuring Turkey and Stuffing.)

Ugh, was that Stove Top? (via)

I was initially wary of Anne Hathaway as Catwoman, but then I realized I don’t care. Mostly because the casting choices for literally every other role are great (Batman Begins not included, thank-you very much, Ms. Joey Potter). I bet she’ll pull it off. It’ll give her the chance to branch out beyond annoying-princess-love-interest territory. Hell, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, one of my favourite actors, could be Catwoman and give me the chance to branch out into my pants! (That line would work a lot better if I had a penis.)

You guys have no idea how close this is to my dreams.

What is there left to say that hasn’t been covered by the trailers, clips, and endless speculation that’s been ping-ponging around since The Dark Knight hit theatres? These aren’t only great comic book movies, but they’re superior action and drama ones as well. Everyone with even a shred of taste will see it twice within the year. Count on it. Or, like, Bat-Count on it, or some other not-really-a-pun.

The rating, like the lack of pants on ladies at a Halloween party, is entirely predictable and yet triumphantly necessary.

Beer Prediction

It’s a sequel to a great cinematic franchise and, for once in a long time, a necessary part in a well-rounded trilogy. Because expectations are so high, and nerds be nerdin’, most criticisms will probably be nitpicky and relative to how adored this series has been and the height of that bar.

*Spunctuation Points™