The Warriors (1979)

The Warriors (1979)
The Warriors (1979) DVD / Blu-ray

By: Oberst von Berauscht (Three Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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A Toast

Released in 1979, this film was an early example of a trend I like to call “80’s future dystopia.” Even though they feel horribly dated, there is still a certain appeal to these films, much like watching an old 50’s sci-fi feature. 

        

In the year 1997…

Not every sci-fi film from this period feels this way, but only sci-fi films from this period feel this way.  Take from that what you will.

The Warriors opens as a meeting is called by Cyrus, mysterious leader of the biggest gang inNew York City.  Cyrus is assassinated after giving a rousing speech calling for all gangs to unite to take on “the man” as one (by the way, don’t do a Google image search for “megagang” with safesearch off). The blame for the hit is given to The Warriors, a gang from the opposite side of town, who then must fight their way home though rival territory.

Director Walter Hill pulls out all stops to make this film feel bigger than its budget.  The story is original, the action is furious, and most importantly, the music rules.  Take a drink to celebrate the tight pacing and ass-kicking awesome contained within. I can say that I do indeed dig it.

Beer Two

The acting… with a few rare examples, is just horrible.  Most of the main characters deliver lines they clearly just read on a piece of paper, and put little to no effort in developing the dialog beyond that.  Some actors just stare into space or into the camera.  Don’t get me wrong- there are still some inventive performances in the film, but when it is bad, it is Tommy Wiseau bad.

Beer Three

The fight choreography leaves a lot to be desired, particularly in the sequence where the Warriors fight the “Baseball Furies”.

 

 

 

   This, not this:

 

 

 

 

 

   *Brrllldldgblagag*

 

 

 

 

Ok, I’ll just wrap it up, the choreography is terrible and… I just threw up in my mouth a little…  Sorry, but I have to go now.

Verdict

Almost worth a curb stomping.

 

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a Drink: whenever someone says “The Warriors”

Take a Drink: whenever the Radio girl leaves a message for rival gangs

Down a Shot: for every punch that obviously never hit anyone

About Oberst von Berauscht

Oberst Von Berauscht once retained the services of a Gypsy to imbue in him the ability to accurately describe the artistic qualities of a film up to seven decimal points. To maintain this unique skill, he must feast on the blood of a virgin every Harvest Moon, or failing that (and he usually does), he can also make a dog do that thing they do where they twist their heads slightly (you know, when they're confused about something) at least a few times a week. I've gotten way off track here... The point is, Oberst is one of the website's founders, so... yeah

3 comments

  1. why is there a picture of a fox and where the hell is it from? hahah

  2. listen man fuck you, you dont know shit about movies, the warriors is an old movie so the choreography cant be that good and besides its a fucking cult movie that was a hit in those day you fucking idiot so dont talk shit about this movie because this movie is the mother of all movies about gang/sreet fighting, by the way this movie was directed by one of the most best action movies director walter hill(aliens every part, prometheus…)

  3. Read the above comment in the voice of the Dennis Hopper’s photojournalist from Apocalypse Now.

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