The Ultimate Ultimate (2012)

By: Oberst Von Berauscht (Six Pack) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Every Thursday in June I’ll be reviewing Microbudget Indie flicks which have been sent in to us for review.  For the purpose of disclosure, I’ll define a microbudget film as; “a movie made with a group of friends, spare change, and big dreams.”  As a word of caution; I will be holding these films to the same standards I do of any theatrical release.  Save for the technical details that the budget could not afford.

As for the synopsis, I’ll let the film’s Trailer tell you the story:

A Toast

It’s a movie, and it is only about 76 minutes long.

Beer Two

Two shirtless bros go on vacation together, ostensibly to find women, but instead spend their time drinking in their shitty hotel room.  Most of the film’s “comedy” comes from dialog spoken between the two leads, and it mostly consists of movie references and chauvinist sex jokes.  In the hands of a skilled writer this could have been a cynical and dark comedy.  However, I’m sorry to say that to me this film seems to be missing the most important ingredient.

Kind of an overall waste…

Beer Three

Whether or not it was intentional that these guys come off as obnoxious ass-clowns is not totally clear.  What is clear to me though, is that both of them lack any redeeming factors that a slacker comedy requires.  Take the classic comedies Clerks, or Go, or Richard Linklater’s Slacker.  Each of these films feature deadbeat characters who do typical lazy things to get through their day, and yet there is a special something within the films that give these characters appeal.

My money is on the acid washed denim jacket…

Beer Four

One of the most important aspects of an effective comedy is the timing, so when each conversation is split up into cuts from character to character, it requires a certain level of finesse.  However, too often there are delays between speech that feel unnatural.  These delays could have been cleaned up in post-production, but what would benefit the dialog more would be allowing the two performers to share the same camera for more than a few seconds.  Granted these aren’t necessarily trained actor’s we’re dealing with, but with the right amount of coaching it still is a more effective approach to comedy.

Beer Five

At less than an hour and a half, the movie still manages to feel slow.  Part of the problem is that the movie ultimately has nothing to say.  The characters haven’t learned anything of importance, the story doesn’t comment effectively enough to qualify as satire, and it there is no purpose behind it.  So what we are left with is the humor, and for the most part the jokes fall flat.

Beer Six

I’ll be honest, had this been condensed to a short Youtube video, they might have had something going.  It kind of already has been done, but what is the internet for if not repetition of old jokes?

Verdict

Not even the penultimate penultimate.

 

Bonus Drinking Game 

Take a Drink: for every drinking montage.

Take a Drink: for homoerotic undertones

Drink a Shot: when there is a clumsy pause between lines of a conversation

About Oberst von Berauscht

Oberst Von Berauscht once retained the services of a Gypsy to imbue in him the ability to accurately describe the artistic qualities of a film up to seven decimal points. To maintain this unique skill, he must feast on the blood of a virgin every Harvest Moon, or failing that (and he usually does), he can also make a dog do that thing they do where they twist their heads slightly (you know, when they’re confused about something) at least a few times a week. I’ve gotten way off track here… The point is, Oberst is one of the website’s founders, so… yeah

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