The Room (2003)

The Room (2003)
The Room (2003) DVD / Blu-ray

By: Oberst von Berauscht (Six Pack) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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In 2003, Producer/Director Tommy Wiseau created The Room, which changed the way we looked at movies.

Johnny is a computer programmer, or a banker… or well… the movie doesn’t seem to want to explain, but anyway, he works.When Johnny is turned down for a promotion, his fiancé Lisa starts to eye other options, like Johnny’s close friend Mark.What follows is a tragic love triangle between the three that was certain to destroy my ability to give a shit.

A Toast

Filmmaker Tommy Wiseau’s greatest challenge to overcome in the creation of this film surely must have been juggling the duties of actor and director.In this regard, he succeeds with equal measure.I can safely say that he certainly is as good an actor as he is a director…

Beer Two

For Denny.

In one scene he sees Lisa and Johnny in bed embracing, only to jump in with them.Here he initiates a scene that might have come off as cute and even funny if he was a young child.That said, it is clear to me that Denny’s character was written as a ten year old, and to the young actor’s detriment, was also played like he was a ten year old.This turns an otherwise endearing character into a creepy demon child.

Oh hi Denny…

Beer Three

The editing speaks for itself:

Beer Four

This is actually a positive criticism, because the film features multiple extended sex scenes that while photographed and performed with all the talent of a Cinemax reject, are just long enough to allow you to get to the fridge for another beer.Director Wiseau should probably take some anatomy classes though, because I’m pretty sure that’s her belly button…

Beer Five

What can be said for the various performances in this film that hasn’t already been said about Diphtheria?But while the disease is spread through contact to fecal matter when living in unsanitary conditions, The Room romances you in with its “so bad it’s good” appeal.As a result it takes awhile to realize that it is force-feeding you liquid shit.

Method Acting, no doubt…

Beer Six

Tommy Wiseau is a genius.He was given everything a filmmaker could ask for, total creative control, unrestricted access to his apartment, tens of seconds of stock footage, and an award eligible score from famous composer Casio™ demo mode.Rounding out the six-pack is Tommy Wiseau, the entrepreneur.In the years after the film’s release, a following has developed on little more than the infamy of internet fame.

Wiseau makes it a fixture at conventions, and holds sold-out screenings and Q&A sessions, all along insisting that the film is intended as a work of satire (fooling no one).Wiseau has proven the movie The Producers correct, in that an artist can make as much money off a flop as a success.Due in no small part to the film’s cult status, it is evident that the film’s success will be an enduring one.

But if I start seeing people playing catch in Tuxedos, I’m going to have to cut someone

Verdict

I did not like it, I did not like it, I did noooooot

 

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a Drink: whenever a character says “Hi” to another

Down a Shot: for every sex scene

Take a Drink: anytime stock footage of San Francisco is used

About Oberst von Berauscht

Oberst Von Berauscht once retained the services of a Gypsy to imbue in him the ability to accurately describe the artistic qualities of a film up to seven decimal points. To maintain this unique skill, he must feast on the blood of a virgin every Harvest Moon, or failing that (and he usually does), he can also make a dog do that thing they do where they twist their heads slightly (you know, when they’re confused about something) at least a few times a week. I’ve gotten way off track here… The point is, Oberst is one of the website’s founders, so… yeah

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