By: Bill Arceneaux (Three Beers) –
The relationship between a filmmaker and an audience is an interesting one. Depending on the amount of creative control given, a director can inflict anything on the poor crowd. I’ve always said, along with a close friend of mine, that if given the opportunity to make a movie, only one rule would be followed; do what you want – the audience is expendable. Judging by his latest film, I’d be willing to bet that Tom Six would get along well with us.
Martin (Lawrence Harvey) has problems. He is a short, overweight, bug eyed, mjentally challenged asthmatic. He lives with a murderous/suicidal mother, is bullied by a hard rockin’ upstairs neighbor, and is visited by a Doctor with sexual yearnings for him. As an escape from all of this, Martin obsesses over the film The Human Centipede (First Sequence) which he plays repeatedly on his laptop, while working in an underground parking garage. But Martin isn’t just a mere fan; he plans to make his own version of his favorite film. And no, it’s not a shot for shot fan movie…
I’d watch that movie.
Could you imagine The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) as an improv exercise? “Ok guys, for this next bit, you’re all customers in a pet shop. Oh, and you’re stapled ass to mouth with one another. Go!” Having to be on your knees for hours on end, not to mention the proximity to an anus, must be a trying experience. Hell, just watching such an act, and all the torture/brutal attacks associated with it, leaves you with a bad taste. This movie does what so few do; it fully attacks all five senses. The only other film I can think of that does this as well is Pink Flamingos, and that movie at least had whimsy to offset the dirt.
I should also mention the casting of Lawrence Harvey. I have no idea where this man came from. Perhaps he’s a mole person, hatched in the very underground parking lot that his character Martin works in. Whatever the case, this was the movie he was born for (I don’t think he’ll be in a rom com anytime soon).
A face made for radio. Oh, and this movie.
Part of what gave the original film its cult status was the humor. Yes, it was a sick premise, but it was funny; a charismatic mad scientist yelling at an Asian man who can’t speak English to “feed” the girl behind him is hilarious. When I saw the original with an audience, I laughed at how others were squirming in their seats. Basically, it invited you to revel in the Director’s personal delight of grossing people out.
With the sequel, however, I think it might just be the Director who is laughing. The gross out moments are just vile and upsetting. It is possible that Tom Six is messing with us by crafting this to be devoid of decency, and daring the Martins amongst the audience to laugh, to make everyone else squirm a little more. Personally, I can appreciate a filmmaker who treats his audience this way (as I mentioned in the introduction), but if you’re not me, and were looking for some gross out laughs, go rent Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead instead.
What? He’s just giving us what we want…
You might need this beer to get through some of the more disgusting acts. In this movie, you’ll witness crowbar beatings, nudity, forced explosive defecation, skin tearing, skull crushings, matricide, birth, sand paper masturbation and a dumb actress thinking that an obvious creep with a dark van will escort her to an audition with Quentin Tarantino.
This was a hard one to rate. I was stuck at first between three and six beers, but eventually settled when I understood that Tom Six enjoys messing with his fans. If the original hadn’t achieved cult status, he wouldn’t have subjected us to such a sequel. In a way, by liking the first one, we ALL had it coming with the second one. We’re disgusting.
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a Drink: whenever Martin grunts or squeals.
Take a Drink: if this reminds you of the Japanese Guinea Pig films. You actually watched those?
Drink a Shot: when your date walks out on you.