By: Henry J. Fromage -

Matthew McConaughey’s getting awful aggressive these days for a man who five years ago was only known for chilling with his shirt off.  Besides Magic Mike, Mud, and the fairly disastrous The Paperboy, he has an HBO show with Cary Fukunaga and Woody Harrelson, True Detectives, and he just jumped ship on The Butler, from his Paperboy director Lee Daniels.  He would have been playing JFK in that one, so you’d think he had a good reason.  He does- the lead role in The Dallas Buyers Club.  He’ll play Ron Woodruff, who was diagnosed with AIDS in 1986 and in an effort to forestall death started experimenting with illegal underground drugs.  These drugs ended up prolonging his life and helping many other AIDS victims.  It’s a meaty, Oscary-sounding role, and with The Young Victoria director Jean-Marc Vallee and Hilary Swank in support, it looks like it could be that kind of movie.

This just doesn’t seem right at all.

Continuing in our vein of the unlikely, it appears those rumors I dismissed awhile back about Eastern Promises 2: Electric Boogaloo actually have some basis in fact.  David Cronenberg, Viggo Mortensen, and Vincent Cassel are all reportedly on board with the sequel, which will presumably track the fallout from the big reveal at the end of the first film.  Expect a lot of Viggo vs. Russian mob action, and if you’re lucky (or more likely, if you’re the opposite) maybe we’ll get another one of those bathhouse scenes.

I think there are still areas of Viggo’s taint Cronenberg has yet to train a camera on

Speaking of unlikely sequels, Before Sunrise already got one of those.  The critical world was in a tiff over that one, as nobody wanted to see the near-perfect open-ended finale of that one spoiled by an inferior second act.  Well, as it turned out, Before Sunset exceeded all expectations, and went ahead with an ambiguous ending of its own.  Well, here we go again, because apparently this summer a third film in the series will shoot with director Richard Linklater and stars Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy.  The only detail we have, besides the fact that we’re checking in again after nine years, just like the first time, is that this installment will have something to do with the internet.  I’m going to not overanalyze this and keep my fingers crossed.

No, no, no, no, no