By: Julio De Francisco (Six Pack) –
Matt Franklin (Topher Grace) is working at Sun Coast Video in the mall despite having graduated from MIT.He is unsure what to do with his life.Just then Tori Frederking (Teresa Palmer), his high school crush, walks in.To cover up the total loser he is, Matt claims he works for Goldman Sachs, a lie that is now his challenge to keep up. Lucky for him his sister Wendy (Anna Faris) and friend Barry Nathan (Dan Fogler) help him try to pull it off.
I got this!
I raise my first glass of beer to the soundtrack. Atomic Tom’s cover of Don’t You Want Me was a refreshing take on Human Leagues 1982 version. I also enjoyed Pete Townsend’s E. Cola Mix to his Let My Love Open the Door song.My favorite scene/song was when Matt and Barry are lip singing to Straight Outta Compton by NWA .
THIS IS SO GANGSTER, AMMIRIGHT?
Tori Frederking was the hottest girl in high school, the prom queen that Matt crushed on back in the day.Teresa Palmer, is indeed, hot.However, listening to her speak, I couldn’t help but believe that every now and then it sounded like she had cotton balls in her mouth.As scenes would cut her speech would get better, but it seemed the longer the sentences the more cottony her mouth would get.Well, Teresa Palmer cannot do an American accent for any long period of time.This beer should be shot-gunned shortly after the toast, because she is speaking on screen a lot.
You can open this can early and let it warm.Sip from it every time Matt Franklin says, “I don’t know what I want to be” or something to that effect.If you don’t have a dream, if you don’t have a goal or a set of goals, then don’t bitch and complain about wherever it is you are working. Working at Sun Coast Video was not that bad of a gig to me so watching an MIT grad bitch about for any length of time warranted this lesson of the day.Your life can end as soon as tomorrow so why sell yourself short by being miserable at work?I want the awful aftertaste of warm beer to remind you that it could be worse.You could have been hit by an 8.9 Earthquake followed by a Tsunami with 30 second warning.By the way, I recorded the tsunami in my community.Enjoy:
This movie was predictable because you’ve seen this movie.Kyle Masterson’s party is Stiffler’s party in American Pie.Matt chasing Tori at a house party you’ve seen in Can’t Hardly Wait.Barry getting laid with a hot older lady you saw with Stiffler’s Mom.While this movie wasn’t a ‘teen’ movie like the others, it did bring back people who went to high school together.I wish I had recorded myself throughout this movie, I was saying the lines before they happened.The dance-off scene between Barry and a flamboyant male dancer was akin to watching Stiffler against the Bear in American Pie.This movie had nothing new to bring to the table.Except for Demitri Martin as a character in a wheel chair.Oh wait, Glee made that worth bringing back.
Don’t, Don’t You Want Me?
Every now and then I get a hankering to see a teen movie.It’s entertaining to watch the high school virgin archetype trying to nail the hottest girl in school.As ridiculous as the efforts usually are, I ask myself whether I did it right when I was in high school.No, I didn’t.I didn’t go to a single high school party.So, I live vicariously through these characters and for the most part I am happy about the ‘loser’ getting the girl at the end.However, that wasn’t the case with Matt Franklin.
I was never on his team.I think most people will feel the same.This Bud’s for you… Cheers.I was rooting against this character because he didn’t seem to have anything going for him, yet had Tori around him all the time.
Really, no idea of how to have fun.
All of the characters were stereotypes.They had the ‘guy at the party playing guitar’ character.The super excited to see you character.The emo/goth character (Michelle Trachenburg was pretty hot).The two ‘in the closet’ friends.The fat best friend character who would steal a car and shout “Shabadabadooooo!” character.Maybe I’m being hard on this movie, and then again maybe not I’m not.
As awful as this movie was, there were a couple of scenes that were funny.The part where Matt is put in a metal ball that pinball’s between cars was pretty entertaining.But it’s not enough to make this movie worth watching sober.
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a Drink: anytime ‘Sun Coast Video’ or ‘MIT’ is mentioned.
Take a Drink: anytime cocaine is referenced or snorted
Take a Drink: anytime Matt Franklin (Topher Grace) lies.
Take a Drink: anytime Tori Frederking’s (Teresa Palmer) American accent sounds like a mouth full of cotton balls.
Take a Drink: anytime Ashley (Michelle Trachenburg) or Shelly (Lucy Punch) make an appearance.