Planet Terror (2007)

Planet Terror (2007)
Planet Terror (2007) DVD/Blu-Ray

By: Ahmed Almatrook (Three Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Sometimes, you gotta take a break from realistic movies and instead switch to something that would make practicality shove its head up its ass! And here’s when Planet Terror comes in. Released on April 6, 2007 as part of a double feature with Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof, Planet Terror is a tribute to the 1970’s late night exploitation movies that were played in “Grindhouse” theatres. After the release of a biochemical weapon into the atmosphere, many humans become infected and turned into zombies, so a group of survivors have to fight the horde in order to continue to exist .This movie is actually pretty kick ass, it’s one of those movies you have to watch with three or more people rather than by yourself (add some Heineken and pizza, and the result is a great mini party!).

A Toast

The special effects are actually pretty fuckin’ awesome! The damaged look compliments the movie, and it really makes it appear like it was a movie shown in a Grindhouse theater (I’m talking as if I have actually attended a Grindhouse flick). The digital effects on Cherry’s (Rose McGowan) leg were very credible to say the least.

Another thing that made me raise my chalice is the return of various character actors that have already worked with Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino like Tom Savini, Michael Parks, Bruce Willis, and Quentin Tarantino himself. Whenever they made an appearance, I couldn’t help but scream “YEAH!” while watching the movie for the first time with some friends (which didn’t end well for me, so remind me not to do that again).

I gotta take a shit
I gotta take a shit, baby.

The missing reel was actually a good addition to the film, it adds to the sense that what you’re watching is an actual exploitation movie. Many people complained to the fact that Dakota’s (Marley Shelton) son, Tony (a boy of 8 to 9 years of age), shot himself with the gun that his mom gave to him . First of all, I don’t think any sane parent would take their kids to watch this movie with them, so the kids won’t get influenced. Secondly, don’t you guys wait for the post-credit scenes( I sit my ass down even when the cleaning crew comes in the theater, I don’t care, I gotta see every last minute of the goddamn movie before leaving!) ? Didn’t you know that there was a post-credit scene where it clearly shows that Tony is still alive (which completely mindfucked me, like how in the name of Harold and Kumar do you survive getting shot in the face at point blank range!?!?).

Beer Two

The thing I hated about  this movie was the fact that there is barely any humor that would make you laugh like “HAHAHAHAHAH” instead of “heheh”. Apart from a few cheesy gags here and there, there’s absolutely no comedy. I know that this is a horror movie, but come on, it isn’t a serious horror movie (like the Exorcist), so they had to include some form of wittiness.  By the way, how the hell does Cherry fire a gun attached to her leg!?!?

"Fuck Yeah!" moment?
“Fuck Yeah!” moment?

Beer Three

Why did Bruce Willis have to die this easily? I was honestly pinning my hopes on him turning into a giant mutant and becoming the toughest challenge that the survivors have to face, now that would’ve been epic! Not that the normal ending was bad or anything, but I was kind of let down because I really expected a “boss” zombie.

Oh shit!! He's gonna blow!
Oh shit!! He’s gonna blow!

 Verdict

3beers

Overall, Planet Terror is a movie that I would pop into the DVD player any day. It has enough blood, guns, babes, and explosions to make anyone happy. But it does have some flaws here and there.

 

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time Wray says “Palometa” .

Take a Drink: when you see a pack of Red Apples.

Take a Drink: whenever JT mentions his barbeque sauce.

Take a Drink: if you didn’t think you would see Fergie act in this movie.

Do a Shot: whenever you see Tom Savini or Michael Parks.

Do a Shot: if you thought El Wray would make it to the end.

Do a Shot: If you thought Quentin Tarantino being credited as a rapist was pretty funny.

Rape Face?
Rape Face?

Last Call

Yes, there is a post-credits sequence.  Stick around for it!

 

 

About Ahmed Almatrook

Movie Buff residing in the small island of Bahrain. Still trying to figure out my Top 200 greatest movies of all time. Classic horror movie freak. Eager to review whatever movie I watch. I practically live at the cinema. Please feel free to comment on my posts. Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

One comment

  1. Rodriguez actually filmed alternate scenes for an cut of the movie specifically for his son (who played Tony), where the kid doesn’t accidentally shoot himself. He claims that he’ll show his son the real version of the film at some point. That post credits scene is not a “mindfuck” surprise, but more like a) some sort of family reference from Rodriguez b) a representation of Tony at peace. Not meant to be taken literally.

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