No Strings Attached (2010)

No Strings Attached (2010)
No Strings Attached (2010) DVD / Blu-ray

By: Henry J Fromage (Three Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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As you can see from my trailer review earlier this week, I wasn’t expecting much from this one.Usually when you draw the Ashton Kutcher romcom, you immediately start cursing the day you were born.Sure, Natalie Portman is currently an “it” chick, but the Kutcher maelstrom has dragged down decent actresses before.

Amy Smart who?

A Toast

Actually, it really wasn’t too bad.I expected to get about 2-3 ironic pity chuckles, but this one does the one thing that all comedies should- make you laugh out loud.You might feel a bit dirty afterwards, but never mind that.

No one ever needs to find out

The chemistry between the two stars is better than it has any right being, and Portman is surprisingly funny, especially when she plays drunk.The supporting cast has its share of smart one-liners, and Greta Gerwig in particular shines.It’ll be interesting to see how her career develops after this and Greenberg.Also, in the defense of my prognostication, the worst part of the trailer (the obviously dubbed “Why can’t we just have sex!” throw-away line) never made it into the final cut of the film.How was I to know?

Oh, and Kevin Kline drinks too much purple drank

Beer Two

The movie starts in summer camp when the two stars meet as children.They could not have found two more awkward and wooden child actors if they had spent months combing the country for the least inspiring candidates.Some useless character development that is completely ignored later is used to set up an unfunny and crass punch-line that your little brother might have written while perusing some Victoria’s Secret catalogues.Just leave that one on the cutting room floor next time, guys.

Timmy does some “research”

Beer Three

So, this flick is about two attractive people trying to make a go of a strictly sexual relationship.This predictably does not work out, and the script ignores the chance for a novel take on things to let serendipity do all the work to get it to the place everyone knows it’s going.I can’t complain too much about that considering the medium, though.

What a can complain about is the mentality of the males in this picture.Portman is very much the man of the relationship, and while that certainly doesn’t always reflect well on her character, she does avoid conversations like the one Kutcher has with his rival for her “affections”.It boils down to the rival suitor telling Kutcher that while he’s having all of this wild monkey-sex with her in “handicapped bathrooms” he’ll be the one that gets to marry her.Um… congratulations?

Keeper!

Verdict

This one is much funnier than it deserves to be and you should give it a watch.Just don’t expect too much deep thinkin…

 

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time Natalie Portman acts cold

Take a Drink: whenever Kutcher has his shirt off

Drink a Shot: each time Kutcher mentions his father’s sex life


About Henry J. Fromage

Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

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