By: Julio De Francisco (Six Pack) –
The other day I read a mention on @MovieBoozer asking if we had reviewed New Year’s Evil. I thought the tweeter was autocorrected and meant to ask about New Year’s Eve. I was wrong, surprised, and immediately intrigued about what this movie would be like with 2013 just around the corner. From the title you can gather when the movie takes place. A killer wants to commit murder at midnight and calls into Hollywood Hotline, a New Years television program, to announce his evil resolution. When bodies begin appearing the police start their investigation while guarding Blaze (Roz Kelly), who is hosting ‘New Years Evil’ a show that is competing against other network New Years programs by featuring new wave rock music bands. Every hour the killer calls in to let her know that he’s committed another murder and that soon she will be next.
Tipsy observation: The ‘First lady of rock’ looks like Dr. Laura Schesslinger in drag.
I’d like to raise a toast to the ‘timing’ of watching this film. Yes, the ‘timing’ and not the film itself is what makes it great. If someone had suggested I review this movie during summer, I would have hated it so much more – but this movie will now become a yearly tradition along with all the other holiday movies that I love to watch. Plus, whenever there are people dancing in the movie it’s really entertaining.
Take a drink any time someone is dancing on screen.
The dialogue is so bad it’s great. I would drink every time something doesn’t make sense. One great example at the beginning of the movie is when the mother responds to great news before hearing what it is. Or when Blaze is taking calls at the Hollywood Hotline and responds to someone’s favorite new wave hit of the year, “Just some hot tips, huh…” It makes no sense!
The material of this movie isn’t demanding the best actors in the world, but the acting in this movie is terrible. Everyone is pretty bad, but most notable is Grant Cramer, who plays Derek, this blonde teen with major mommy issues. In the movie he plays Blaze’s son, but I think in real life he had a crush on her. Watch for the scene where he greets his mother with a kiss on the lips and how he stares at her like he’d like to be inside her.
Chug a whole beer when Derek says, “I think I have a mental disorder.”
Never have I wanted a character to die in a movie this much.
I know what you’re thinking, “Should have bought more beer.”
In most scary movies bad guys had a particular weapon. In A Nightmare on Elm Street there were Freddy Kruger’s knife-gloves. In Friday the 13th it was the machete. The switch-blade by comparison is comical, and it was funny how easily people fell victim to this.
Take a drink every time the switch blade appears.
The plot is really bad. Why things happen don’t make sense since the characters seem pretty normal. At the end you are told why the killer kills people, but it doesn’t make any sense. All I can say is that it has to do with ‘castration.’ Also, it’s a mystery to me why this evil ‘Stan Laurel’ mask appears at the end of the movie.
I’m going to rape you.
I get the impression that from the concept of this movie to its completion took about a week. I highly recommend watching this movie – despite the Six Pack rating – with a few friends and a few beers. It is so bad, it’s good.
Take a Drink: whenever the word ‘EVIL’ is said.
Take a Drink: whenever “NEW YEARS’ is said.
Take a Drink: whenever someone says something that doesn’t make sense. You’ll know this when you think, “What did that mean?”
Take a Drink: whenever someone dies.
Take a Drink: whenever someone is dancing or moshing on screen.
Take a Drink: whenever Derek does something crazy.
Chug a Whole Beer: when Derek says, “I think I have a mental disorder.”