Monster Brawl (2011)

Monster Brawl (2011)
Monster Brawl (2011) DVD/Blu-Ray

By: Christoper Young (Six Pack) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Every now and then we see a film that attempts to combine two things that should be awesome together. A great example would be Shaun of the Dead which excelled at making you laugh as easily as cringe. Monster Brawl is next up trying to deliver a laugh and scare package but the damn thing is so rotten even my dogs would pass on it.

So the monsters of our make believe world have been summoned and trained to battle each other in wrestling matches. This whole thing plays out like a PPV wrestling event. Thank god this one didn’t cost anywhere near what an actual event can. The only thing I lost here was about 90 minutes and a little respect for a sketch comedian.

I am guessing the general idea here went something like this: dudes love wrestling, hot chicks, monsters, and Jimmy Hart so why not make a movie featuring all three? If you really want to know why not just keep on reading.

A Toast

Let’s start this nut shot with a bit of honesty. I have watched a fair amount of wrestling, purchased a PPV event, enjoyed pretty girls, and always loved monsters. The initial idea here set in a mock PPV graveyard down south could have really worked. Dave Foley is a funny man and I expected his unique sense of humor to be all over this as wrestling announcer Buzz Chambers.

I would also like to shout out to Lance Henrickson’s voice for playing God and all the fighting game references. Anyone who has played Mortal Kombat or Tekken is likely to catch a few references. Now that we have established what I liked let’s actually look at the feature itself.

This can't end bad.
This can’t end bad.

Beer Two

The costumes were well, um just boring or bad, take your pick. The cyclops character especially. He looked nowhere near what a great mythological monster should. That fake eye thing almost caused me to turn the movie off entirely. Best costume goes to the zombie, but even that would be blown away by most B movie fare.

Beer Three

At times I had to wonder what was meant to be funny and what might be trying to pay homage. No doubt wrestling geeks will think the parody of in-ring moves are cool but they look like complete crap. I could turn on WWE RAW and see better live interpretations of a clothesline than this movie had through rehearsal and editing.

Beer Four

If the poor grab ass dancing in ring doesn’t piss you off the shoddy effects should. The CGI effects are pretty horrid with a perfect example being Cyclops and his awesome finishing move. Pretty sure we could have edited that better with a pack of smokes and an Apple II. There were some ok blood effects with the zombie and such but even that seemed like splashing a little red just for the sake of it.

HOW MANY FU*KING BEERS!??!!?!?
HOW MANY FU*KING BEERS!??!!?!?

Also, the sets and scenes themselves all looked pretty cheap. I totally understand the restraints of a low budget and many films achieve greatness with very little cash. I have a weird feeling we paid for the actors and the sets/effects suffered. Not much else needs to be said on this one.

Beer Five

I can sum up this 12 oz. ode in one simple word, why. I didn’t see one moment of explanation telling the audience why this battle was taking place. I need some back story to get into any story. I am not talking about detailing each character’s reasoning but more or less a point to the fight. The monsters come, they battle and they go back to wherever they came from.

Beer Six

I am going to head in a different route as we finish off this 6 pack. The sad thing here (besides being the last beer) is what this movie could have been. Had they removed the gore and some other adult elements this would have easily been a PG-13 flick. I hate it when movies are cut to make a rating or appeal to a larger audience, but this film could have benefited from that. I would have loved this movie at 8-12 years old.

monsterbrawl4
Jimmy Hart and some bimbos can save any movie.

Verdict

Six-Pack, 6 pack beer, 6 Beer Movie, Movie Boozer, 6 Beers, Cheers

Sometimes the translation from script to screen is awesome and other times it is Monster Brawl. There is no doubt that some wrestling junkies and B movie lovers will disagree with me on slapping this with a Six Pack. There is just too much amiss to recommend this direct-to-video stinker. If you want a good streaming low-budget horror flick on Netflix try Dead Snow.

 

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: anytime you recognize a washed up wrestler or manager.

Enjoy a Sip: each time you find yourself looking at Facebook or Twitter during the movie.

Slam a Shot: whenever an attempt at humor falls horribly flat.

About Christopher Young

Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

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