Wednesday, November 26, 2014
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The Longest Yard (1974)

The Longest Yard (1974)

The Longest Yard (1974)

The Longest Yard (1974) DVD / Blu-ray

By: Katherine Balestrini (A Toast) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Ahhhhhhh Burt Reynolds, 1974 Burt, full moustache. In the first two minutes Burt gets more insults from one woman than he did for the reviews of Striptease! He hits a woman, a woman who is clearly over the cheeky smile and sexy swagger. Then the story can start; he’s put in jail and he gets to play football, American football. The sort of football where bones are broken. The entire story is basically inmates versus guards. Who wouldn’t want to watch that match?image001

Doesn’t that look fun? Although it’s more fun to watch than to take part!

A film loved so much they remade it twice. Once with Adam Sandler, who tries to bring violence and comedy and once with actual football (soccer to the USA), with violence and a little bit of heart. But none compare to the 1974 grit, raw violence, and star power, charm, and humor that was Burt Reynolds.

image003Bit concerning… ‘For men, for women, for everyone’ This is NOT suitable for kids, repeat NOT!!

The most shocking part of this movie is THEY SHAVED HIS MOUSTACHE!!!

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Ok, so this is more shocking and you can NEVER unsee it!!!

A Toast

Rarely do they remake and remake films, but this classic has all the charm of Burt Reynolds, back when he was a true star. It has enough violence to inspire future film makers and last but by no means least, it makes you root for people who are clearly in jail for good reasons.

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Those bars do not look thick enough!! Nice ‘stache though.

The Longest Yard, is truly a great film. I was 2 when it was made, saw it when I was about 14 and I thought it was amazing. Even when you watch it now, it still makes you laugh, wince, and reminds you how big Richard Keil is!!!

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You know what they say about big hands????

Verdict

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My one bone to pick is that they shaved Burt Reynolds, that would be like shaving Magnum (Tom Selleck), Rhett Butler (Clark Gable), Charlie Chaplin (Charlie Chaplin!!!)…

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If I could see a human being with the ‘Super Mario’ I would die happy

It makes you want to see the remakes, it makes you long for other Burt Reynolds movies, mainly Canonball Run. Still, The Longest Yard is a well made, well rounded film that has stood the test of time, with no special effects, just heart and violence.  Who doesn’t love hearing the crack of bones?

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They didn’t remake this, because you can’t remake true greatness.

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: whenever Crewe takes one

Take a Drink: every time a fight breaks out

Take a Drink: when the convicts score

Do a Shot: when Crewe appears without his moustache for the first time

Do a Shot: when he has sex in jail with a woman….if only they knew!

One comment

  1. Henry J. Fromage

    That Reynolds Playgirl picture is going to haunt my dreams…

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