By: Wonko The Sane (Four Beers) -
This is a classic setup for a movie, regardless of genre:
Action: A regular, everyday family moves into a regular, everyday neighborhood, into a totally unassuming house. Their world is turned upside down when their new neighbors turn out to be terrorists, and the family has to fight to uncover the evil conspiracy.
Comedy: A regular, everyday family moves into a regular, everyday neighborhood, into a totally unassuming house. “Hilarious” results ensue when they discover that they live next door to the village goofballs (genius!).
Porno, a regular, everyday family moves into a regular, everyday neighborhood, into a totally unassuming house… and everybody’s fuckin’.
However, in this movie:
11/11/11: A regular, everyday family moves into a regular, everyday neighborhood, into a totally unassuming house… Right next to the entire cast of The Omen.
Complete with crazy cat lady
Indeed, basically everything within 11/11/11 is lifted directly from the Omen franchise. So I will not waste time summarizing the story, except to say; yes, the neighbors are devil worshipers and yes, little Damian is Satan.
This is one of The Asylum Studio’s most satisfying films to date. Of course the acting is hit and miss, the special effects are ludicrous, and the plot feels more used than a car up on blocks. But this actually works in the film’s favor as it ends up feeling like an unintentional parody of doomsday prophecy films. Everything is taken to the extreme, from the pointlessly bloody deaths…
(there was a point to this one)
To the gratuitous repetition of numerological context clues…
They even got a plot-twist obsessed Asian man,
Why is M. Night Shyamalan in this movie, and why does he have kittens on his backpack?
I think I strayed a bit from my point here…
This movie used CGI bees so ridiculously that it could be a Nicholas Cage movie
This drink is for the Father, who watches as his son misbehaves, starts cutting himself with glass, and stabs his mother in the stomach, never once catching on to the fact that his child might have a little bit of devil in him.
“Hairdryer in the bathtub? My son… the practical joker!”
And when the Nanny that creeps the shit out of him turns out to be the only option, it couldn’t be because the nanny brutally murdered all of her competition.
Never trust Sarah Silverman lookalikes around children
As of 11/12/11, there is absolutely no chance this film will ever be taken seriously by conspiracy nuts, horror fans, or anyone. This is sort of like how 2001: A Space Odyssey was wrong about interstellar travel, and how Escape from New York claims that the future-world of 1997 sees the economy in ruins, and New York City a haven for greedy sociopaths…
Gloriously stupid, fantastically trite, fucking hilarious!
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a Drink: every time the number 11 is referenced, mentioned, or hinted at (This alone will probably kill you, drink responsibly)
Take a Drink: for each on-screen death
Down a Shot: whenever crazy cat-lady stares into your soul
Take a Drink: for every chance the father has to figure this shit out, and doesn’t.