Ice Age: Continental Drift (2012)

Ice Age: Continental Drift (2012)
Ice Age: Continental Drift (2012) DVD / Blu-ray

By: Bill Arceneaux (Four Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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I don’t go and see animated kids movies that often. Of course, in the event that I do, I prefer something like a Pixar film – a great story with great characters, animation and a respect for the audience. That being said (or written), there are some animated movies from other studios coming out this year that look pretty fun. ParaNorman and Wreck-it Ralph both look equally good, and probably won’t disappoint (stay tuned for those reviews).

For some reason, a mediocre animated kids movie annoys me more than a P.O.S. live action movie. I don’t have much of an explanation – it’s just a fact.

In Ice Age: Continental Drift, we follow Ray Romano, Dennis Leary and John Leguizamo in prehistoric animal costumes, as they are separated from their herd during the continental drift. In an attempt to get back home, they have to confront ice ship pirates and… those were costumes they were wearing, right? Isn’t that true?

Costume design has gotten great, hasn’t it?

A Toast

Well, the animation was pretty slick, as was the 3D (which is how I watched it). And the kids in the audience seemed to like it. I can’t say the same about the parents, though. Maybe as long as the children were happy, they were happy as well.

Also worthy of a toast is the squirrel. I love that guy. Why hasn’t he gotten a feature film film deal?

He deserves a solo feature.

Beer Two

Like most animated kids movie schlock, IA4 features famous comedians and musicians, reading hack lines in a barely interested way. Jennifer Lopez AND Queen Latifah? Wow. What a catch. Really, the studio could’ve grabbed anybody off the street for this. They don’t emote, they just feign emotion. Of course, the writing doesn’t really give them a chance to stretch their talents, so maybe it’s not entirely their fault. Nothing wrong with phoning it in at work every now and then, right?

Beer Three

Why was this movie made? Didn’t they have a sequel titled The Meltdown? Shouldn’t THAT have been the end of the series? The first Ice Age was pretty good, why pull a Land before Time and crash this franchise into a brick wall at top speeds? Do you really need money that badly, Hollywood?

Beer Four

My experience at this screening was ruined by an old [email protected]$%. Sure, it wasn’t the movie’s fault, but…no, it was the movies fault – if it didn’t exist, this wouldn’t have happened. I put a placeholder on my seat so I could get refreshments, and when I came back, this old lady was sitting in my seat. “These seats are taken!” she quickly exclaimed. I told her she was in my reserved seat, and she said “Well, I didn’t know that!” even though she took the damn time to move my place holder. So, because of this, I had to watch a 3D animated film in the FIRST ROW! At least the screening was free, but too bad they didn’t sell booze.

Screw you, lady!

Verdict

You know, I wasn’t looking forward to this one, but I guess it wasn’t painful. Just really annoying. Instead of taking your kid to this, go rent Up or Who Framed Roger Rabbit? or something. Harry and the Hendersons worked well with my young cousins.

 

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a Drink: whenever Manny states that he must make it home.

Take a Drink: whenever you recognize another member of the massive voice cast

Do a Shot: if you were rooting for the squirrel (bless him).

Do a Shot: knowing that you’ll be watching this with your kids. I feel for ya.

About Bill Arceneaux

Independent film critic from New Orleans and member of the Southeastern Film Critics Association (SEFCA).

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