Holy Motors (2012)

Holy Motors (2012)
Holy Motors (2012) DVD / Blu-ray

By: Henry J. Fromage (Two Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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It seems like every year at the Cannes Film Festival, some film that you never see coming blows the socks off of critics and stays in the conversation all year.  Last year, that film was The Artist, which rode its accolades all the way to a Best Picture Oscar.  This year, that movie is Holy Motors.

Holy-Motors-Main-Review

I wouldn’t be expecting that Oscar, though…

This movie is difficult to define, but I’ll give it my best shot.  A mysterious man drives around Paris over the course of a day, stopping periodically for “appointments” in which he masquerades as a range of characters spanning from an old beggar woman to a CGI sex monster.  It’s never clear why he’s doing this exactly, or what it all means, but that’s part of the fun.

A Toast

To properly enjoy this movie, you have to just go with it.  And if you do, it will take you on a hell of a ride, unlike this year’s OTHER demented, philosophical day in the life limo ride movie.

Cosmopolis-Main-Review

Because, yes, there are two of those this year

Dennis Lavant stars as the man of many faces, undertaking possibly the most difficult acting job of the year, and one of the most impressive I’ve witnessed.  He’s asked to act out this incredible range of characters while simultaneously making them believable and conveying the meta idea that he’s acting on two levels, in Holy Motors and in whatever strange performance piece he’s a part of in the movie.  And he does an incredible job of it.

What’s going to leap out at most viewers, though, is how incredibly bizarre the film is.  It features doppelganger murders, terrifying CGI sex scenes, fucking awesome random accordion-driven musical interludes, and Monsieur Merde, a troll-like dirty bastard who abducts a supermodel played by Eva Mendes in order to recreate Michelangelo’s Pieta with her in a burqa and him sporting an enthusiastic erection.  Don’t ask why, just roll with it, all the way to the best surprise ending ever.

NEWS

Ever.

Beer Two

Besides the nightmares you’re pretty much a cinch to get from that goddam CGI scene, you may find the meandering, Godard-esque nature of the film annoying.  While I have little use for Godard (if you want to flush 266 minutes of your life away, go watch Histoire(s) du Cinema), I was very much on board with this.  I will admit, though, it does feel a bit overstuffed, and dragged a bit at points.  A beer will help with that.

Verdict

2beers

However you take it, you’ll certainly want to talk about Holy Motors after.  The best I can make of it, the film’s based on Shakespeare’s aphorism “All the world’s a stage.”  Holy Motors is a bizarre, engrossing stage indeed, and one I’ll certainly be revisiting.

 

Drinking Game (with contributions from Mitch Hansch)

Take a Drink: every time Lavant changes “characters”

Take a Drink: whenever any of Lavant’s characters smokes.

Take a Drink: whenever anyone gets (or appears to get) physically harmed.

Take a Drink: whenever something pants-shittingly bizarre occurs

Down a Shot: for any musical sequence.

Do a Shot: whenever you think you have the movie figured out

About Henry J. Fromage

Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

6 comments

  1. Definitely can’t wait to see this! My dude and I were going to when it was playing but at the last minute decided we weren’t prepared to sit through an avant garde film. I do love Godard though, it’s kind of a superficial love but a deep love nonetheless.

  2. Yeah, I’m a weird one as far as Godard goes, but I just can’t get into him. Definitely recommend this one, though.

  3. Weirdest film I’ve seen of 2012. The evil leprechaun was the movie’s money shot. Great review!

  4. Thanks and yeah… that leprechaun was golden.

  5. Loved your review! I also really enjoyed your use of “pants-shittingly bizarre”.

  6. Gracias. I try to work that in there where I can…

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