Tom Green is an enigma. In reality he seems like a really likable, sensible guy, “sometimes” capable of comedic brilliance, as it’s not easy to rocket to fame as quickly as he did over a decade ago. His comedic talent was constantly dominated by the “bad ideas” he became fixated on, like drinking milk directly from an cow, for example. But it was the price for fame in those days. It seemed like everyone in Hollywood was sucking on something just to stay relevant.
Stick to the script Tom…Pleease
His persona was a generic mutation of Beavis and Butthead and the Jackass crew. The problem was his delivery paired with his scatterbrained comedy of pushing the line seperating what is funny and what is disgusting. Due to his loud, spastic, and many times annoying mannerisms, most people refused to pay attention to his humor. He’s similar to comedians like Bobcat Goldthwait, who MUST have been funny to land the girl from Unhappily Ever After (at least for a little while). Hell, Tom Green could have been the funniest comedian of his time, but I’d never know because he was just so damn uncomfortable to watch.
Tom Green’s reputation is tarnished because he wanted to deliver the jokes himself. His calling was a comedic writer, but he was given a camera instead. In 2001 he was given the opportunity to write, direct, and star in his own movie. The result was Freddy Got Fingered.
Gord Brody (Green) is a 28 year old eccentric lunatic from Oregon. He dreams of being a professional cartoonist and heads to Hollywood to become an animator. He fails after one attempt, and quickly returns home to live with his parents. There he constantly butts heads with his disappointed father (Rip Torn).
Gord eventually falls in love with Betty, a handicapped woman who loves to be caned and give BJs. (Sounds weird? Just getting warmed up.)
Gord soon finds himself cornered by all the lies he told to both his girlfriend and his father. It all comes to a boil which leads to Gord accusing his father of molesting his little brother Freddy. (Are you still following? Hold on, there is a lot more…)
The government steps in and takes 25 year old Freddy away to a home for abused children based solely on the accusations that his dad “fingered” him. The parents marriage breaks apart, leaving the father’s life in disarray. Simultaneously, Gord breaks up with his girlfriend, gives up drawing, and gets a mundane job making cheese sandwiches. (Writing this storyline out, I can’t imagine Tom Green actually pitching this to a major movie studio, and them saying YES, lets make this movie!)
Anyway, Gord becomes inspired by watching his ex girlfriend on the news taping rockets to her wheelchair, and he drives back to Hollywood to give his dreams another shot. He sells his cartoon ideas for one million dollars to a grown up Farmer Ted (Anthony Michael Hall). The money enables him to win back Betty by renting a helicopter and hand delivering a bag of jewels. (At this point you might be thinking this script was writen by a 13 year old on Ritalin, but there’s more…)
He uses the rest of the million dollars to knock his father unconscious while workers remove his home from its foundation and relocate it to Pakistan. More fighting ensues until Gord defeats his father with a heavy dose of elephant ejaculate. They finally make amends and pine over their love for each other, only moments later to be taken hostage in Pakistan. After an international negotiation (SPOILER ALERT) both Gord and his father return home American heros. The end. (Is anyone still reading this review?)
“The Creative Process”
I first want to apologize that before I wrote out that summary I used words like “Comedic Brilliance” in my intro. Fact is, this movie DID have plenty of truly funny moments, but in traditional Tom Green fashion they are quickly forgotten by the “over the top” focus on the absurd and disgusting scenes. There are more than a handful of amusing scenarios that are touched on.(And of course, taken a step too far) I laughed constantly throughout the beginning. Subtle humor like the violent horror movie playing at the home for rescued children and the slapstick of a Tom and Jerry cartoon are present throughout the film.
This movie is about 30 minutes longer than it should be. They could have salvaged a decent comedy with some great memorable laughs if only they cut down every scene before it got out of hand. By the end you are completely annoyed with Tom Green, and questioning why you enjoyed him in the beginning.
The hospital scene. Most people (the smart ones) give up on the movie at this point. It is a pivotal scene when Tom Green delivers a baby and swings it around the room by the umbilical cord shortly after severing it with his own teeth. At that moment the entire audience pretty much gives up on any kind of plot for this movie, and it becomes a test of endurance… to see who can make it to the end of the movie.
Tom Green seems to get more annoying as the film goes on. From the first scene it’s obvious he is a lunatic, but at other parts you wonder if he is trying to play mentally challenged. Finally you realize that Tom Green is not acting at all, he is just shouting and acting wacky, giving up on adding any depth or likability to his character. It’s like instead of even trying, he just woke up and jotted down on a notepad that Gord Brody would look like Hans Gruber, talk like Rain Man, and run like the young Forrest Gump. I kept waiting for him to look at the camera and laugh at us all for watching.
Yippee Ki Yay… Tom Green?
Why is everyone shouting so much? It’s like a long episode of Always Sunny except everyone seems genuinely angry at each other. Almost like Rip Torn is really yelling at Tom Green and they just turned the cameras on. Now Rip Torn is starting to scare me. In one scene, I can’t tell if he really wanted to get “F’ed in the A” or was just proving a point. It leaves the same kind of uncomfortable feeling you get when your 6 foot 4, 285 pound cellmate just told you a joke with a wink.
Even if you liked this, you can’t tell anyone. It’s the chick anti-magnet (Pooty Kryptonite). Kinda like bringing a girl back to your place and having her see your Faces of Death movie collection sitting out like you’ve recently watched them. Instant red flag.
This date is NOT working out as planned
It helps being hammered before you even start this one. You will laugh, you will be annoyed, you will not make it to the end.
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a Drink: every time the kid next door gets hurt
Take a Drink: whenever someone says “Cheese Sandwich”
Take a Drink: whenever Tom Green repeats himself (says the same line twice)
Down a Shot: whenever Tom Green repeats the same line over 5 times in a row
Down a Shot: every time you flinch