By: Henry J. Fromage (Five Beers) –
A prisoner, played by the somehow even more obscenely muscular Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, gets out of prison and immediately starts shooting his brother’s killers in the face.His name is Driver, and he’s being pursued by a police officer named Cop and an assassin, named Killer.
Though the working title Movie had to be dropped
Faster starts right out of the gate with the aforementioned shooting in the face.Really, with films like this, the less background and more action the better.A raise of the glass must also be given to the intent of the film.Director George Tillman wanted to make a film without CGI, and that’s simply not done enough these days.He also clearly wanted it to be a gritty, 70s-style actioner, and well, that’s worked pretty well for Tarantino.
Tillman, unfortunately, is no Tarantino.He also recycles things he likes from genre movies, but in this case it just feels like something we’ve seen many, many times before.Faster feels like a reader’s digest of gritty action films, all the way up to the “twist” ending that sneaks up on you like John Goodman.
If Tillman had a little more directorial skill, this may all have been forgivable.Instead, we get confusing framing and cut-aways, and one particularly hilarious scene where the camera cuts quickly back and forth between Billy Bob Thornton and Carla Gugino’s snappy dialogue, line-by-line.Take a bat, spin around it ten times, and then watch that scene.I dare you.
Since quality obviously escaped out the back door, you’d hope the dialogue was cheesy enough to give the flick a bad but entertaining stamp of approval.Alas, it wasn’t to be.The script is full of ridiculously pompous lines and dime-store philosophy such as “I created my own hell.”It pretty much proves that studios will give just about anything a green light.
This will be a blockbuster starring Taylor Lautner. No part of that sentence is a joke.
A last tip of the glass must be made for the entire subplot involving Killer.He’s actually kind of a cool character, a millionaire thrill-seeker who has a major complex about growing up with what might have been polio.He just doesn’t fit into the story at all.He’s shoehorned into the plot through the thinnest of connections and just makes you wonder if he strayed into the wrong movie.
This one has its heart in the right place, but falls down hard in the execution.Well, at least it has Mr. Eko.
Who doesn’t like your face.
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a Drink: every time The Rock shoots someone
Take a Drink: every time Killer shows up for no damn reason
Drink a Shot: every time you see a twist coming from a mile away