Drive Angry 3D (2011)

Drive Angry 3D (2011)
Drive Angry 3D (2011) DVD / Blu-ray

By: Oberst von Berauscht (Four Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

Loading... 

Satanists have kidnapped a baby, and they’re planning to sacrifice him to bring hell to earth.Now, it’s up to John Milton to take on the evil cult.He is pursued by “The Accountant”, a mysterious loner with a penchant for telling people their date and time of death (and being right).

No, it isn’t Charlie Sheen’s fever dream, it is…

DRIVE ANGRY 3D

A Toast

First we drink to the good.This film has a brazen lack of good taste, flouting its violence, sex appeal and “don’t give a shit” attitude.A modern day retelling of High Plains Drifter, Drive Angry follows the character Milton (Nicholas Cage) from hell to earth and reaping vengeance.The character of the Accountant is particularly interesting, having a violent obsession with finding Cage, and a calm but determined sociopathic demeanor. The violence is often satisfying, but especially when the weapon being used is a 17th century volley gun named “The God Killer”.

The gun doesn’t kill you, it deletes your soul… awesome.

Beer Two

Alas, for all the film’s badass credentials, there is a large amount of suck that needs to be disseminated.

While in an admirable attempt to maintain the mystery in the characters until the second act, the film’s opening scenes are quizzical at best.Often you’ll be confused by the plot structure, and are given no clues to go by.This leads you to believe that Nicholas Cage’s character was just created by following Cage on his daily routine.This isn’t helped by the poor supporting cast and painfully forced dialog, which ensures you will stop caring and just hope for another special effect to gawk at.

Third Beer

For a movie that prides itself at being in eye-raping 3-D, you’ll be pleased to know that there are some really cool, creative scenes using the technology (at one point a newly dismembered hand flies at the screen).Unfortunately, most of the time the 3-D doesn’t even seem to be utilized, reducing the effects shots to merely awkward moments when the 3-D element is removed.Like when the Accountant flips a coin and the camera pans up so that the coin shoots at the screen.This is the definition of gimmicky filmmaking.

Beer Four

This one goes to Nicholas Cage, who could have saved this film from action mediocrity with a batshit insane performance that has become a trademark of his movies.Instead, we’re treated to a calm, collected Cage.It isn’t a bad performance so to speak, but for a movie this over the top, he is very low-key.If you’re not certain why I’m disappointed, here is the reason:

Verdict

Worth a look to action fans for some unusual choices, but very average overall

 

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a Drink: whenever something is thrown unnecessarily at the camera for bogus 3D novelty

Take a Drink: when the Accountant kills someone

Down a shot: when the Accountant flips a coin in awkward slow motion


About Oberst von Berauscht

Oberst Von Berauscht once retained the services of a Gypsy to imbue in him the ability to accurately describe the artistic qualities of a film up to seven decimal points. To maintain this unique skill, he must feast on the blood of a virgin every Harvest Moon, or failing that (and he usually does), he can also make a dog do that thing they do where they twist their heads slightly (you know, when they’re confused about something) at least a few times a week. I’ve gotten way off track here… The point is, Oberst is one of the website’s founders, so… yeah

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!