Deathrace 3: Inferno (2012)

Deathrace 3: Inferno (2012)
Deathrace 3: Inferno (2012) DVD/Blu-Ray

By: Katherine Balestrini (Six Pack) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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A film continuing the exciting story of Frankenstein, a driver in a race, to guess what…..the death! In case you missed Deathrace 2, they recap to remind you of how great it was, including a flash back sex scene. If this isn’t enough to get you to see the movie, nothing will. You will miss nothing!

A Toast

Can’t really think of anything good about this movie; it lacks violent deaths, lacks decapitations, lacks awesome weapons, in fact it is a shambles (yes I said shambles) to put the name Deathrace to it. Even the original Deathrace 2000 had better special effects in it and that was made in 1975!  Jason Stratham, Sly Stallone, and David Carradine should NEVER watch this movie; they would cry at what they have done to the name Deathrace!!

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It literally doesn’t get better than this!

Beer Two

When Ving Rhymes leaves, it’s a sign, a sign we should have heeded and left with him. Ving Rhymes has moved to television now, maybe being in this movie inspired him to leave movies alone. You know when your stint in movies is over. Pulp Fiction is a far cry from this movie and Ving knows it.

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All these stars on one show….or is it the fear of having to work on Deathrace 4?!!

Also, Dougray Scott!!!!WTF!!!! Sure he isn’t that famous, but he shouldn’t be in this; damn it, he’s British!! Oh yeah so is Luke Goss, but he used to be a 1980s pop sensation so that’s ok, I would expect nothing more.

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Pop sensation Bros…now Luke making it big in the movies, well Hellboy 2, Blade 2…anything that’s a sequel really!!!

Beer Three

The AMAZING special effects….I mean plastic surgery done on Frankenstein. His face a mass of burnt skin and tissue, but that’s ok, it’s the future, they can REBUILD HIM!! Not as a robot, not as a man made from other humans (Frankenstein Reference), but a couple of skin grafts and he is the only human in history to get stubble after having his entire face burnt off!!! Good grief!!

Beer Four

Simple Math…There are 16 navigators, hot and sexy navigators, who all got their part from their talents, both of them bouncing in front…oh yes you think, time for some chick on chick action. But wait, these 16 navigators must fight to the DEATH til only 10 remain.  We get to the 10 with blood and a decapitation (oh yes) followed by the 11 Death Race Cars ready at the start line…WHAT!!! Who doesn’t have a navigator? None that’s how many!!!

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Number sequence for those who are not so good with the math

Beer Five

The film doesn’t seem to want to end, there is none of the gratiutitous violence of other Death Race films. There are no naked shots, bar one shower scene. She obviously go the part doing something for the director, but apparently she wants to be taken as a serious actress this time, so only an ‘artistic’ shower scene. The one thing the woman can’t do in this film is ACT!!! OMG the lovely Katrina opens her mouth and it’s painful!! There is a use for that mouth, acting aint it!!

In case the movie looses you, or you are lucky enough to fall asleep, then there is a recap at the end!!! As if we haven’t suffered enough.

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You want me to be in another movie, but I want to be taken seriously. OK?

Beer Six

The ending. You have to see it to believe it! If a tunnel blows up doesn’t everything get destroyed and burnt? Not sure we can chalk that up to the magic of the movies!!!

Verdict

Six Pack

This went straight to DVD, it should have gone straight to TV…no, straight to the Syfy channel.  When it ends you will be happy, there will never be any more. Well let’s hope and pray there are no more.

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A proper Sci Fi film!!! 1980s stars and less than a ticket to the cinema to buy the DVD.

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: just for manning up and watching it, you deserve it

Take a Drink: every time there is a slow motion moment, there are enough of them, so make sure you have plenty of beer.

Take a Drink: for every plot hole, once again make sure you have a lot of beer in for this one too!!

Do a Shot: every time you see Ving, he got out, well, for a little while.

Do a Shot: when it’s recap time

About Katherine Balestrini

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