“Writing a nasty review for Cop Out is akin to bullying a retarded kid. All you’ve done is make fun of something that wasn’t doing you any harm and wanted only to give some cats some fun laughs.” – Kevin Smith
“As a reviewer and a brother to someone with autism, I’m slightly miffed. As someone who despises cats, I’m greatly offended.” – Bill Arceneaux
NYPD Cop Jimmy (Bruce Willis) needs money to pay for his daughter’s wedding. But, after being suspended without pay, he is forced to sell a very rare baseball card. One thing leads to another, and the card ends up in the hands of a vicious gang leader. Teaming with his unlikely partner Paul (Tracy Morgan), Jimmy will stop at nothing to put an end to the gang and get his card back.
Cop Out reminded me of the kind of movies I used to watch when sick from school. There used to be a block of programming on Comedy Central before noon that would feature comedies such as Armed & Dangerous, Detective School Dropouts and any of the Police Academy films. Cop Out would’ve fit in well with my ‘at home from grade school’ programming. Of course, another way of putting this would be that the movie reminded me of all those times I was sick with a cold.
He’s looking for a better movie
One of the few things in this world that I find truly unforgivable is bad and lazy comedy. You don’t need to look any further than at Epic Movie, What’s Your Number? or Fox News’ Red Eye for examples of what I mean. The attempts at comedy in the first fifteen minutes pissed me off so much, I considered turning the movie off and completing the review based only on what I had seen. Seriously, almost all of the “jokes” fall completely flat and face first. It’s the films editing (by Kevin Smith), main villain, and final twenty minutes that save this from a worse grade.
It’s all a bit confusing to me. I mean, I know that Kevin Smith didn’t write this himself – he even acknowledges that it’s not “his” film, possibly absolving himself of any fault – but he still should’ve realized that what was on paper was bad. A directorial rewrite would’ve been nice.
I like Tracy Morgan. His time on SNL and 30 Rock have brought about many laughs from me. But man, does he go overboard here. Essentially, he’s just rehashing his character from 30 Rock, and multiplying it by ten. In no universe, or even in a fantasy, would his character have been a cop for as long as he’s supposed to have been. It’s either poor casting or poor direction. Probably both.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Bruce Willis look as bored being in a movie than I did watching his performance in this one. He probably had a P.A. standing by with a Red Bull just in case he fell asleep. Very entertaining.
An Untouchable joke
In one hi – larious scene, Jimmy and Paul are confronted by two other cops. After being teased, Jimmy answers his phone, to find Paul on the other end. They then make jokes about the two other cops, with Paul concluding that a movie was made about them called The UnFuckables. Funny.
This isn’t the worst thing in the world, and probably didn’t deserve the kind of critical bashing it received, but Kevin, this is STILL BAD. No matter. I can still sit back and enjoy Clerks 2.
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a Drink: when Tracy Morgan does something he would do on 30 Rock (not recommended)
Take a Drink: whenever Bruce Willis looks like he’s about to fall over.
Take a Shot: every time you want to throw something at the screen, but decide it’s not worth destroying your TV.