Cop Out (2010)

Cop Out (2010)
Cop Out (2010) DVD / Blu-ray

By: Bill Arceneaux (Five Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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“Writing a nasty review for Cop Out is akin to bullying a retarded kid. All you’ve done is make fun of something that wasn’t doing you any harm and wanted only to give some cats some fun laughs.” – Kevin Smith

“As a reviewer and a brother to someone with autism, I’m slightly miffed. As someone who despises cats, I’m greatly offended.” – Bill Arceneaux

NYPD Cop Jimmy (Bruce Willis) needs money to pay for his daughter’s wedding. But, after being suspended without pay, he is forced to sell a very rare baseball card. One thing leads to another, and the card ends up in the hands of a vicious gang leader. Teaming with his unlikely partner Paul (Tracy Morgan), Jimmy will stop at nothing to put an end to the gang and get his card back.

A Toast

Cop Out reminded me of the kind of movies I used to watch when sick from school. There used to be a block of programming on Comedy Central before noon that would feature comedies such as Armed & DangerousDetective School Dropouts and any of the Police Academy films. Cop Out would’ve fit in well with my ‘at home from grade school’ programming. Of course, another way of putting this would be that the movie reminded me of all those times I was sick with a cold.

He’s looking for a better movie

Beer Two

One of the few things in this world that I find truly unforgivable is bad and lazy comedy. You don’t need to look any further than at Epic MovieWhat’s Your Number? or Fox News’ Red Eye for examples of what I mean. The attempts at comedy in the first fifteen minutes pissed me off so much, I considered turning the movie off and completing the review based only on what I had seen. Seriously, almost all of the “jokes” fall completely flat and face first. It’s the films editing (by Kevin Smith), main villain, and final twenty minutes that save this from a worse grade.

It’s all a bit confusing to me. I mean, I know that Kevin Smith didn’t write this himself – he even acknowledges that it’s not “his” film, possibly absolving himself of any fault – but he still should’ve realized that what was on paper was bad. A directorial rewrite would’ve been nice.

Beer Three

I like Tracy Morgan. His time on SNL and 30 Rock have brought about many laughs from me. But man, does he go overboard here. Essentially, he’s just rehashing his character from 30 Rock, and multiplying it by ten. In no universe, or even in a fantasy, would his character have been a cop for as long as he’s supposed to have been. It’s either poor casting or poor direction. Probably both.

Beer Four

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Bruce Willis look as bored being in a movie than I did watching his performance in this one.  He probably had a P.A. standing by with a Red Bull just in case he fell asleep. Very entertaining.

An Untouchable joke

Beer Five

In one hi – larious scene, Jimmy and Paul are confronted by two other cops. After being teased, Jimmy answers his phone, to find Paul on the other end. They then make jokes about the two other cops, with Paul concluding that a movie was made about them called The UnFuckables. Funny.

Verdict


This isn’t the worst thing in the world, and probably didn’t deserve the kind of critical bashing it received, but Kevin, this is STILL BAD. No matter. I can still sit back and enjoy Clerks 2.

Sorry Kev.

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a Drink: when Tracy Morgan does something he would do on 30 Rock (not recommended)

Take a Drink: whenever Bruce Willis looks like he’s about to fall over.

Take a Shot: every time you want to throw something at the screen, but decide it’s not worth destroying your TV.

About Bill Arceneaux

Independent film critic from New Orleans and member of the Southeastern Film Critics Association (SEFCA).

One comment

  1. I love this review, Bill, and not just because we are acquainted with one another’s work. What sold me on this, besides those references to Bruce about to keel over, was that last line about Clerks 2. If I were a film critic, I would have given Clerks 2 a positive review, with a grain of salt though because my positivity about Clerks 2 is definitely counterbalanced by a certain kind of Kevin Smith sentimentality dating back to, oh i dunno, age 14 or 15 or thereabouts. I don’t understand shit like Cop Out. Smith is talented, Willis can do very good work (when he wants to, as you’ve pointed out so aptly here and elsewhere), and Tracey Morgan (whose recovery in hospital I hope for) is always fun to watch. It bums me out that an auteur like Smith would settle for something like this – methinks the studio’s bullshit opinions must be involved, but who knows why such drivel ends up out in the world by such great talents. I’d like to think if I were Kevin Smith I would have the good sense to say ‘no’ to the script, and I wonder which forces were in play to quell common sense and good taste in this instance…

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