By: Hawk Ripjaw -
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For has its Dame to Kill For. Eva Green joins a robust cast as a dame that apparently someone will lose their life over. Other cast members include Bruce Willis, Jessica Alba, Josh Brolin, Dennis Haysbert, and of course, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Robert Rodriguez returns to direct. Everything that comes out of this movie sounds better and better, and Eva Green is the icing on the cake. Would I kill for her? Maybe. Probably not since girls are gross, but maybe.
“Sin City” is also the name for my bed or something. I had a joke but it was creepy, and now I forgot it.
A couple of weeks ago, horror fans were pleasantly surprised with the announcement that the Evil Dead remake would almost exclusively feature practical effects—that means actual fake blood and flesh and props, none of that CGI nonsense. It gets better. The finished trailer was submitted to the MPAA and was returned with the badge of honor/death sentence: the restrictive NC-17 rating. Of course, the film will have to be cut down to a hard R, which certainly is not a bad thing. While it’s likely we’ll get that unrated cut when it releases on disc, we still have one hell of a horror movie to look forward to. I mean, that red band trailer is something else. Did you see that shit?
Boy, I sure am hungry!
Paul Giamatti is rumored to play Rhino in Amazing Spider-Man 2. I don’t even have a joke for the idea of that crazy-looking man playing a test subject that has had his DNA fused with that of a rhinoceros. This actually stems from a sub-story that branched from the movie into the video game, going with an early draft story choice that made the Lizard/Curt Connors, as well as Peter Parker, part of a gene fusing experiment. The Rhino, Dr. Michael Morbius, is forced by that Indian guy Rajit Ratha to partake in the experiment, creating the beast. This is a little worrisome if they’re actually planning on putting two villains in the movie (because it worked SO WELL in Spider-Man 3), so we’ll see what happens. Felicity Jones is also apparently playing a role. Since Mary-Jane is also going to be in the film, let’s hope it’s not a love interest. It wouldn’t be a love triangle anymore.
It would be a love square! A blue one
The week’s most shocking news comes with the announcement of which characters will be featured in the Justice League movie. There are a couple here that I don’t think anyone could have seen coming. Just kidding. The choices are so obvious you can barely call this news. This story is a “wow Chris, thanks for wasting the time I could have been pleasuring myself to pictures of Wonder Woman by making me read this stupid paragraph about nothing.” Oh, the lineup? We’ll be seeing Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, and the Flash.
I think the biggest question is whether Wonder Woman will have pants.