Biutiful (2010)

Biutiful (2010)
Biutiful (2010) DVD / Blu-ray

By: Henry J. Fromage (Three Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Biutiful is the latest from Mexican director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu of Amores Perros and Babel fame.  It got a Best Foreign Film nomination and lead actor Javier Bardem got a surprising nomination for performance.  It’s only just now starting to show up places the average American can see it, although it’s far from average fare.

This was supposed to be an image of a breast-hat, but the internets hasn’t caught up yet

Okay, if that image was available (I assure you, it is in the film), it wouldn’t be exactly representative, but it’s obvious right from the beginning that this will be an art film.  It tells the story of aSpanish streethustler named Uxbal who just got diagnosed with a terminal illness.  He’s a sort of shepherd for illegal laborers as well as functionally single father, so he’s obviously got a lot to wrap up in the few months he has left.  Oh, and he may be able to communicate with the recently deceased.

Add a goatee and subtract all hope

A Toast

A definite raised glass needs to go to Bardem.  He’s one of the best actors out there, and he again shows why, communicating everything in a glance.  Inarritu shows us the seedy underbelly ofBarcelonatakes us into socities of people that have been almost universally ignored.  And while it takes forever to get moving, the plot and its meanderings tie together impressively in the end.

Beer Two

It’s obvious from her opening scene and its oppressive sound design that we’re not meant to like Uxbal’s wife Maramaba very much.  Well, the job was done too well, because her every scene was grating.  A lot of this could be tied to the part, but Maricel Alvarez’s overly histrionic performance didn’t help much.

Beer Three

This movie is supposed to be sad, I get it.  Usually you go for a little of the bittersweet as well, though.  Well, not in Mr. Inarritu’s movie, you don’t.  Every time there’s even a tiny glimmer of hope, something soul-crushing happens.  So, maybe drinking during this movie isn’t the greatest idea after all.

Also, there’s Euromullets

Verdict

It’s slow as sin and relentlessly depressing, but it also has enough to say about the human condition to even out in the end.

So, drinking while you’re depressed probably isn’t a great idea, but:

 

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a drink: whenever you see ass-breasts

Take a drink: whenever Maramba does something crazy

Take a drink: whenever Uxbal’s dad is mentioned

About Henry J. Fromage

Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

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