Barely Legal (2011)

Barely Legal (2011)
Barely Legal (2011) DVD / Blu-ray

By WonkoTheSane (Five Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Three friends who are about to turn eighteen years old make a pact to go “all the way” for the first time at the pool party they’re hosting.  Through a series of misadventures they meet with varying degrees of success and comic failure, and learn a little something about themselves.  And this totally doesn’t sound like any movie you’ve seen before right?

A Toast

I have to credit The Asylum for green-lighting an ensemble comedy where the stars are all female that isn’t about shopping, Cosmopolitans, and eking out whatever is left of a forty-something sex-drive.  The plot itself is clearly modeled after the original American Pie’s plot, but with female protagonists it does allow for some unique situations mostly untraveled by standard sex-comedy fair.  When at its best, Barely Legal presents its audience with ridiculous situations and awkward sensuality that is equal to anything you’ll see from bigger budget movies.

Beer Two

That isn’t to say the film is beyond reproach, the dialog is often painfully forced.  Many of the actors seem uncomfortable with their lines, sometimes stumbling through as if the director did the whole thing in single takes.  Also, many of the actors/actresses were clearly chosen more for looks than “oral” prowess.

Beer Three

While budgetary concerns were doubtlessly the reason for setting the entire film at the one house, with the exception of two or three cutaways, they could have been more creative with their use of location.  For a high school pool party, there is very little swimming, in fact, most of the party seems to consist of sexy misunderstandings, drugs, jocks getting blue-balled and geeks getting laid.  There is even one case of genuine puppy love.

Why don’t I get invited to these sorts of parties?

Beer Four

In keeping with sex comedy tradition, someone invited the goofy prankster dudes.  But these guys are truly unusual; seemingly content with spending hours on the balcony throwing water balloons with impunity.  To prove they’re not gay, they frequently talk about the sex with women they probably should be having instead of spending the whole movie high fiving and getting more excited than Richard Simmons with a bag of dicks.

Beer Five

Over the course of the film, one of the girls experiences a sexual awakening that is both hilarious and fairly disturbing.  After a traumatizing moment causes her to forsake her conservative beliefs, she attempts self-gratification for the first time, and for the rest of the movie successfully masturbates with just about every inanimate object in the house.

When you’re horny all the world’s a penis

These are perhaps the funniest moments in the movie.  So it is unfortunate that some of these moments also contain mean spirited jabs at religion. I wouldn’t call them out on this so much if they had taken more time to be clever about it.  Sometimes it works (the Dominatrix Nun was a great touch), but the scene where the boyfriend professes gay love for Christ goes on way longer than necessary, and the girl is portrayed as totally unfamiliar with sex, despite having two friends who talk about their conquests at every opportunity.  I’m not saying religious humor is the problem; it is when it is done without any clear reason other than to be offensive that it becomes tiresome.

Verdict

 

More frustrated than sexually satisfied, perhaps endearingly so at times.

 

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a drink: for every act of infidelity.

Take a drink: when Igby (or anyone else) goes down

Take a drink: for every blind joke

Down a shot: when you find out who did in fact leave to dog out.

Down a pint: during the semi-obligatory shower scene.

About Wonkothesane

Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

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