Atlas Shrugged Part 2 (2012)

Atlas Shrugged Part 2 (2012)
Atlas Shrugged Part 2 (2012) DVD / Blu-ray

By: Oberst Von Berauscht (Six Pack) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Ah yes, the long-anticipated sequel to my pick for the worst movie of 2011 has arrived.  Atlas Shrugged Part 2 continues the Fiscal-Conservative wet dream future where the 1% finally stand up for themselves and fight for the right to keep themselves rich.  They do this by destroying everything they’ve built and disappearing with their millions. Meanwhile, the evil ignorant (Read: Poor) masses are desperately concocting schemes to force the rich to give them money without regard to personal effort.  Because that’s how socialism works…

A Toast

Atlas Shrugged Part 2 fares better than its predecessor.  This time around the characters occasionally take time out of their busy schedule of drinking scotch and talking in conference rooms to further what passes for the “plot”.   This time around, our heroes are working on a clean and efficient energy machine whose inventor’s identity somehow remains a mystery (even though the repetition of his name makes for the single best drinking game in Libertarian history).

Who could’ve guessed that the MacGuffin was invented by John “I invented the Magic MacGuffin” Galt…

Beer Two

The film opens with a poorly rendered CGI Jet chase through the mountains of Colorado. It is worth noting that this movie had a budget of approximately 25 million dollars.  This isn’t a lot of money in Hollywood terms, but the average movie from The Asylum is made for a million dollars or less, and features CGI which is at least as good.

Beer Three

While it may have worked for the book, the catchphrase “Who is John Galt” just seems out of place in film dialog.  And after the phrase is repeated over and over again for 2 hours, it doesn’t get any better.

Beer Four

Sean Hannity, Juan Williams, Bob Beckel, it’s a Fox News reunion played out in three-part harmony!

It’s Douchetastic!

Beer Five

Even if you managed to get roped into the first film, this slap-dash production managed to be the worst kind of mid-trilogy epic, in that it lacked both a beginning and an end.  This doesn’t have to happen; films like The Empire Strikes Back prove that the second film in a planned trilogy can have some level of closure, even if they still set you up for a sequel.

Beer Six

This is an honorary beer, because in all honesty this isn’t near as bad as the first film.  The Six-Pack is still well deserved, however, as this series is blatant anti-progressive propaganda.  Don’t let that fool you, this beer isn’t about Left-wing or Right.  Propaganda always deserves a beer, because by its nature it is designed solely to rouse the fanatics and silence the voices of reason.

Verdict

Drink deeply of the fruits of labor (of your employees)

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time John Galt’s name is mentioned.

Take a Drink: for every Wall-Streetesque “greed is good” speech.

Drink a Shot: for each conservative celebrity cameo

About Oberst von Berauscht

Oberst Von Berauscht once retained the services of a Gypsy to imbue in him the ability to accurately describe the artistic qualities of a film up to seven decimal points. To maintain this unique skill, he must feast on the blood of a virgin every Harvest Moon, or failing that (and he usually does), he can also make a dog do that thing they do where they twist their heads slightly (you know, when they're confused about something) at least a few times a week. I've gotten way off track here... The point is, Oberst is one of the website's founders, so... yeah

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