Arthur (2011)

Arthur (2011)
Arthur (2011) DVD / Blu-Ray

By: Julio De Francisco (Four Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Arthur (Russell Brand) is the alcoholic heir to a corporation who stands to inherit 940 million dollars if he marries Susan (Jennifer Garner), the daughter of a wealthy contractor, who his mother believes will set him straight.  However, he finds himself falling in love with a quirky tour guide, Naomi (Greta Gerwig).  He now has to choose between love and money.  With the aid of his nanny Hobson (Helen Mirren) and his chauffeur sidekick Bitterman (Luis Guzman) he tries to prove to his mother that he is capable of taking care of himself.  If this seems like a really stupid premise, that’s because it is…

A Toast

If there’s one thing I can appreciate about this movie, it’s that the protagonist is as drunk as you should be throughout the entire movie.  There isn’t a single moment that Arthur is sober.  For that reason alone, you should feel no shame popping a beer can loudly or asking your neighbor for a bottle opener.  If you should happen to spill some beer, the smell alone can only improve the experience of watching the lush that is Arthur.

A – B – C – D – E – F – G – H – I – K – J  -L – N – M – O – P – Q – R – S – T – U – We – W – X – Y – Z – THERE, DID IT!

Beer Two

I know it’s only a movie, but watching a man treat money like toilet paper kind of made this beer necessary.  I’m not frugal by any means, but who would bail other men in jail just because you could?  Who would shut down Grand Central Station for a 45-minute date?  Who would bid on a diamond-encrusted spoon for 10,000 dollars at an auction and raise the bid against himself for 100 thousand dollars?  Arthur.  He even crashed the Schumacher Bat mobile into Wall Street’s Charging Bronze Bull. If the world is truly a playground, and rules mean nothing, then you are either the son of a dictator or Arthur.  This is not a good thing.

They were as big as ping-pong paddles and sensitive at their tips.

Beer Three

Hobson (Helen Mirren) has been tending to Arthur since he was a baby.  It appears that all of her adult life she has been caring for Arthur, doing the things nannys do like making sure you have your morning glass of Alka-Seltzer with your toast for morning hangovers and cleaning up the afterbirth of sluts and drunkards strewn around your apartment after a night of partying.  Yes, what a fine nanny she is.  In Arthur, Hobson is portrayed as the hero while attempting to convince Arthur to sit through an AA meeting.  She even speaks up for him when he can’t. However, I couldn’t get over her arrogance and indifferent attitude enough to really like her.  She would always say or do things that would benefit Arthur, but looking at how Arthur turned out, it seems like she never really cared.

She needs a big spoon of sugar to help this medicine go down.

Beer Four

In an attempt to transform into a well-adjusted adult, Arthur gets a job, at a candy store.  John Hodgman plays the Candy Store Manager, who has to, on many occasions, say no to Arthur’s request to switch jobs with the man dressed in a gummi bear costume, believing that he would be better suited for that.  Eventually, when the store manager is not around, Arthur pays the man 10,000 dollars to let him prance around in that suit for an hour.  I liked John Hodgman on the Daily Show, but his role in the film seemed kind of weak for his talents.  I thought this whole scene was beer worthy.

Hi kiddies, would you like some of my candy?

Verdict

I recommend a minimum of 4 beers for this film.  If you want to match the inanity of Arthur you can kick it up to 6 beers by playing the bonus drinking game.  This movie does have its moments.

 

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a drink: anytime Arthur takes a swig of alcohol.

Take a drink: anytime “Hobson” or “Bitterman” is said.

Take a drink: anytime you see a movie car appear in a scene.

 

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