By Oberst Von Berauscht (Six Pack) –
In his mind Dave (Jason Lee) is a normal, everyday working father taking care of his six talented children. Is it his fault that his six children are actually rodents with a penchant for the top 40 charts?
So when Dave decides to take the kids on a cruise, it is only natural that the hijinks which ensue find them on a deserted island, struggling for survival. Children’s cartoon or psychological thriller? You decide…
Drink a toast to this movie francise, for providing David Cross with a steady paycheck.
At one point, he was actually funny.
I’ll start by saying that I’ve never been a “Chipmunks” fan. The voices are annoying, and the music even more so. The whole thing feels like a crass cross-marketing effort by film/music producers. There is no need to actually take the time to create new songs when you can apply 5 minutes of effort in pro-tools and call it “Children’s Music”.
And while we’re at it, jokes are things which require thought as well. So instead of those we’ll just reference some internet memes that stopped being funny a year ago. With references such as “Double Rainbow”, “Winning”, and “Honey Badger Doesn’t Give a Fuck” it was merciful that they didn’t see fit to include a Rickroll.
I’m very curious what kind of drug habit Jason Lee has developed that he has seen fit to keep making these films. Every time he screams “ALLLLLVINNNNNNN!” it appears more and more like a cry for help. What the fuck dude?… you were Brodie… Brodie…
Jason Lee’s Credibility 1995-2011, RIP
To the barrage of puns which range in annoyance everywhere from the eye rolling frustration of the title to a line about Chipmunk tails being “Shaken, not stirred”. These screenwriters deserve to be punched in the dick.
This is a very special beer that goes out to everyone using the “It’s just a kid’s movie” excuse. Children’s movies can be well-directed, written, and performed (See Hugo). The conscious decision to allow your children to see this film should be grounds for the department of Children and Family services to take them somewhere safe. You are not only a danger to your children, you are a danger to yourself.
First Hop, then The Smurfs, now this movie completes the year’s trifecta of shitty-ass live action/animated children’s films. And how fitting can it be to end on the single worst one?
Bonus Drinking Game
Take a Drink: for every pun
Take a Drink: whenever they reference an internet meme
Down a Shot: every time someone says AAAAAALVIIIIIIIIN!
Take a drink: when they break out into song for no reason