Air Collision (2012)

Air Collision (2012)
Air Collision (2012) DVD / Blu-ray

By: Wonko The Sane (Six Beers) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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The TSA installs a new air-traffic control system that automates all aspects of air travel, from flight patterns to the jets themselves.  In spite of criticism from experts this system is implemented immediately, and with seemingly little beta-testing, and no backup plans in case something goes wrong.  Needless to say, now a crowded airliner is headed on a collision-course for Air Force One, and it is up to Bob Abbot (Reginald VanJohnson) to save the day.

Murphy’s Law

A Toast

The Asylum’s latest offering in a long-running series of disaster epics, the action is intense, the special effects are amazing, and the acting is top notch.

April Fools!

Beer Two

Reginald VelJohnson is most well known for playing second-banana to Bruce Willis in Die Hard, and for his role as the well meaning, but firm strait-man to Steve Urkel on the early 1990’s sitcom Family Matters.  And while his career has been that of supporting roles, in Air Collision he is definitely the actor with the most screen presence.  I have to credit him here, as he definitely does everything he can with the material he’s given.  Usually the “celebrity” star of Asylum films put about as much effort into the performance as their hangover will allow.

Do you hear me Richard Grieco?

Beer Three

The plot of this is so gloriously absurd, I could spend days pointing out the plot holes, but I’ll just focus on two.  First of all, who on earth thought it was a good idea to install a system of killer lasers all over Air Force One?  Worse yet, why is it that these killer lasers are only controllable via an automatic computer system?  I guess the screenwriter didn’t see how well that worked out in The Andromeda Strain.

Beer Four

I also simply do not believe that anyone, no matter how dim, would think that putting thousands of lives at risk in the hands of one untested computer was a good idea.  Granted, I have this complaint about every cautionary tale involving machines failing or taking over the world, so the movie is at least not unique to this problem.  If you wanted to be generous, you could excuse this second complaint as an attempt to satirize the digital age society, automating everything for the sake of convenience.

Screenwriter laziness is the more likely scenario

Beer Five

In spite of these complaints, Air Collision is full of hilarious moments of ineptitude.  This studio has forged a truly unique identity, and rest assured it is still the king of CGIsploitation.

With that said, I am wondering about something written on the DVD box.

You don’t want to anger the movie nerd, you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.  With that said:

This is not the same thing as This

Beer Six

So it’s the same old dependable Asylum, stealing equally from Executive Decision, Air Force One, and basically every other airplane disaster movie, with a screenplay that Michael Bay passed on, presumably for not being trite enough.

I’d have a joke here, but his career stopped being funny a long time ago.

Verdict

Get yourself a few friends, and fasten your seat-belts, a flight attendant will be serving drinks shortly…

 

Bonus Drinking Game

Take a Drink: for every shot of people screaming and/or crying

Take a Drink: whenever the A-CAT system is mentioned

Drink a Shot: to Reginald VelJohnson; The Asylum just needs to get one more actor of Family Matters fame to complete the Triforce.

About Wonkothesane

Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

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