The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

WallStreet2013posterBy: Hank Bagwell (A Toast) –
How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Wolf of Wall Street is about the all too true story of Wall Street conman Jordan Belfort, and how he suckered, snorted, quaffed, fucked, and cheated his way to the top and back down again.

A Toast

Yes, I gave it a fucking toast!  It’s the feel good, buddy movie of the year!  It’s a story of a man living the American dream, mixed in with hookers, midget darts, yachts, and a shitload of cocaine!

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(Can we please get shirts like these, Henry J. Fromage?!)

Anytime you have Leo and Scorcese together, it’s going to be a blast of the ridiculous.  Leo should at least be in the running for a golden midget, for his performance, as well as Marty.

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(“No, we aren’t making shirts like that, Bagwell, you insensitive fuck!  Write the fucking review already, you piece of shit, cocksucker!”)

I normally have a steadfast rule that a film shouldn’t exceed two hours.  Wolf, however, kept my attention the entire way through.  The script is great, the acting superb, so on and so forth, but at the end of the day, it’s just a really fucking great movie!

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Prediction, this could quite possibly be the best drinking movie of all time…

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Verdict

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This film has more inappropriate moments than your creepy uncle at Christmas dinner.

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It will have you cheering for the bad guy, rooting for greed and wishing you and your buddies were right there with them!

If you don’t like this film, “Go fucking flip burgers at McDonalds!”

 

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time someone on screen drinks or does a drug.

Take a Drink: every time you laugh at an awesomely inappropriate comment.

Take a Drink: every time you see boobs.

Take a Drink: every time midgets are referenced.

Take a Drink: every time Leo raises his voice and proceeds to scream at the top of his lungs.

You’re welcome…

About Hank Bagwell

2 comments

  1. This review is terrible. The author seems full of himself. The gist I get is that the film has a great screenplay, good acting, but no real substance in this review backs up those claims. Up arrow if anyone else agrees.

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