Tusk (2014)

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time you hear “Mr. Tusk”

Do a Shot: for each mustache pun.

Do a Shot: when you see the walrus suit.

Pour One Out: for Kill Bill Kid’s leg. 

 

Movie Review

By: Frankie B. (Two Beers) –

Kevin Smith is a divisive director to say the least. People either love and swear by most of his movies, or they hate every second of his movies. Smith runs a podcast, The SmodCast, and one day someone brought up an article they had found online. The article featured an ad where a homeowner was offering a living situation free of charge, if the lodger agrees to dress as a walrus. Thus the idea for Tusk was born.

The most majestic and caring creature in existence, according to a delusional psychopath.
The most majestic and caring creature in existence, according to a delusional psychopath.

Wallace Bryton (Justin Long) and Teddy Craft (Haley Joel Osment) host a popular podcast called The Not-See Party, where Wallace finds viral videos and shows them to Teddy. They then proceed to mercilessly make fun of the people in  the video. Pure internet gold, am I right? Wallace goes to Canada to interview one of the people they verbally destroyed, but things don’t go as planned, and he has to find another weirdo to interview. Cue, Howard Howe, a man with many interesting stories and a secondary agenda. Wallace might have just encountered his last weirdo.

A Toast

For starters, I was a huge fan of Kevin Smith until the release of Red State, which I still find to be one of the worst movies that I have ever seen. It was preachy, overly political, and depressing, which is everything that you do not want in a Kevin Smith movie. Tusk is a return to form for Smith; it is fucking weird and crazy. This is one of the first movies to cause me to say “what the fuck” in the middle of the theater. If you decide to watch Tusk, you will know exactly what frame and scene I am referring to. I love that Smith knows that the whole premise is silly and ridiculous, and he has no problem playing it up. The amount of whatthefuckery Smith packs into the last third of this movie is unbelievable, and the movie switches tone at the drop of a dime.

Old guy offers you room and board to listen to him tell you stories. My first thought would not be, "this seems legit".
Old guy offers you room and board to listen to him tell you stories. My first thought would not be, “this seems legit”.

Also, I have to say that Michael Parks is a goddamn Hollywood treasure. He outclasses everyone that is on-screen with him; Justin Long is no match for him at all. But Parks does have a scene with a Hollywood superstar and the scene is awesome, with Parks coming out on top of their encounter. Who the superstar is will have to remain a mystery until you see the movie (No Spoilers!!!). Parks carries this movie on his back for 90% of the movie, and is both funny and fucking terrifying. All I know is one of my new fears is being captured by a serial killer and turned into a human/walrus hybrid. Definitely staying out of Canada, also.

Saying Haley Joel Osment didn't age well would be a massive understatement.
Saying Haley Joel Osment didn’t age well would be a massive understatement.

Also, as a side note, Haley Joel Osment got really fat. Good thing the guy still has solid acting chops.

Also, as a side side note, I would let Genesis Rodriguez do horrible and dirty things to me.

Beer Two

Kevin Smith could have probably shaved 15 minutes off of this and still had the same exact movie. As with most of his movies, he added just a bit too much dialogue and got lost in it a bit. Not a major complaint, but it was still an issue that could have easily been addressed.

This movie is essentially the Canadian version of Hostel. Which means I will now actively avoid going to Canada.
This movie is essentially the Canadian version of Hostel. Which means I will now actively avoid going to Canada.

Verdict

Tusk is a weird little movie that will be making people say “what the fuck” for a long time. Kevin Smith is back, and that is what I really care about. Now can we get Clerks 3 and Mallrats 2? Get to writing, Kevin.

2beers

About Frankie B.

A kid from New York that fell in love with the magic of movies. Fascinated by every facet of the movie industry. Really love B-quality horror movies and psychological thrillers. Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

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