Take a Drink: for incest
Take a Drink: for straight disgustingness
Take a Drink: for Troma references
Take a Drink: for quality people-watching
Take a Drink: for terrible sound effects
Take a Drink: whenever they actually bother to use a line from Shakespeare… ish
Do a Shot: for Juliet’s dreams
By: Henry J. Fromage & Oberst von Berauscht (Six Pack) –
Oberst- ‘Tis a tale of young love, families at war, betrayal and sacrifice. The story is of two families; the Capulets and the Ques, lost in a long-lasting feud. When the young Tromeo Que falls in love with Juliet Capulet, the star-crossed romance stirs up a hornet’s next on either side. As the battle-lines are drawn once again, the pair seek to settle the discord.
Oh Tromeo, wherefore art thou Tromeo?
Oberst- Bodily fluids, nudity, violence, blood & gore and incest galore as Troma studios return with yet another toxic tale. In this iteration of Shakespeare’s classic play; all stops are pulled for maximum authenticity…
Ok, so the film is set in Manhattan instead of Verona, Italy, and most of the original dialogue is replaced, and the film has 80% more incest and 100% more penis monsters…
Henry- There’s actually a lot going for this film. Watching it with Bill Leon, and watching the shock and disgust pass in waves over his face, told me that whatever the fuck Lloyd Kaufman & Co. were trying to do with this film, they accomplished it. It’s nasty, it’s really fucking funny in a “who could come up with this shit?” sort of way, and there are some genuinely impressive body horror and mind-bending dream sequences that almost send you down some David Cronenberg paths… until you remember this is still a Troma film.
James Gunn could come up with this shit- apparently he wrote the script for 150 bucks.
Henry- Yep, this is still a Troma film. The production values are generally shoddy, the extras are whatever street people Kaufman felt most threatened by, the acting is a cornucopia of cheese, and callbacks to other Troma films (that incredible color-changing car flip) take precedence over basic logic and decency. Thankfully, though, unlike certain people (Tommy Wiseau and his incredibly disappointing Neighbors), Kaufman realizes that competent camerawork and sound are what really makes the crazy pop.
Oberst- The sheer genius of director Lloyd Kaufman to choose as the film’s humble narrator a true poet laureate. To hear the words of Shakespeare spoken by Ian Fraser “Lemmy” Kilmister is to cross the threshold into Xanadu, to ride vaingloriously into battle on the hills of Balaclava, to witness Christ himself tread the sea of Galilee.
Oberst- As a general rule; Troma likes to do the opposite of whatever seems like a “good idea”. In spite of this, actors Will Keenan and Jane Jensen are surprisingly well cast, making for a surprisingly accurate representation of the couple as written by the Bard.
Henry- Outside of the incessant wacking off to the world’s unsexiest titillation on both of their parts, you mean? That being said, Shakespeare was a much dirtier old cad than most people give him credit for, so you may be right…
Oberst- Director Lloyd Kaufman employed the use of the highest quality of sound effects in this film. Clearly inspired by the great sound designers behind The Three Stooges.
Henry- Or your local sub-Neanderthal morning radio talk show…
Henry- So much fucking incest, so gleefully celebrated…
Oberst- And what Troma film would be complete without the car flip?
Henry- There it is! I’ll leave with one last anecdote that Bill I believe dug up from Imdb’s trivia. Kaufman asked Gunn to write the script in iambic pentameter just like Shakespeare, but when Gunn realized how hard that would be, he just told Kaufman he did that. Throughout filming and after, Kaufman never figured out that this script of largely straightly delivered cornball dialogue wasn’t poetry. That, in itself, is poetry.
Oberst- All Troma films deserve a full Six-Pack, but this ain’t your daddy’s Six-Pack of Coors. This is the kind you get when you go to the “good” liquor store up the street. They have a wall of “Pick Six for $8.99”, and you fancy yourself some kind of connoisseur, so you grab six beers that have the best looking labels. You never really know what you’re getting, but you enjoy it all the same. (Am I making sense here?)
Henry- Yes, Ken, you do. My problem was never realizing that they generally put out the skunkiest/most expired bottles out there to choose from, but fuck it, I felt fancy all the same. Lloyd Kaufman we knew was wrong, but my favorite part of all of this is James Gunn’s involvement. This is what’s really going on in the brain of the director of last summer’s biggest hit/merchandise seller, Guardians of the Galaxy. Do with that what you will, parents.