Terror in Beverly Hills (1989) Movie Review: A “Stallone” Action Movie, Starring “Stallone”!

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: every time Cameron Mitchell shouts

Drink a Shot: when Frank Stallone appears

Take a Drink: for the body-count

Drink a Shot: for mullets

Community Review

How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Movie Review

By: Oberst Von Berauscht (Six Pack) –

A group of Middle-Eastern terrorists kidnap the President’s Daughter and hold her hostage in an old factory complex.  As police surround the building, tension reaches fever-pitch as the they try in vain to put an end to the crisis. Finally, an expert is called in: a former Special Forces soldier named Hack Stone (Frank Stallone).  Hack works with Police Captain Sills (Cameron Mitchell) to plan a dangerous hostage rescue, and to prove he is a bad enough dude!

Baddudes
Ok, so there are no Ninjas, but my point has been made…

A Toast

Terror in Beverly Hills is the kind of Z-grade movie that I love.  With each passing minute the story, the editing, the sound-recording, the dialogue, the acting, and just about every other filmmaking aspect grows more incompetent.

So this toast is for the bottle of beer in my hand as I write this review as I salute the half-dozen other bottles which died for this movie’s sins…

Beer Two

Frank Stallone is billed as the film’s star, and appears in maybe 20 actual minutes of the film. Doubtless he took the paycheck and shot for about 2-3 days, max.  The filmmakers even introduce a character who shares a similar mullet, and basically performs scenes which Stallone’s character should have.

Pictured above: not Frank Stallone
Pictured above: not Frank Stallone

This character is used and then abandoned with very little fanfare, with Frank Stallone appearing to pick up the pieces.

Beer Three

Cameron Mitchell was a long-time character actor, and by this late stage in his career was sadly forced into a series of ultra-low budget films.  He doesn’t care anymore, and appears visibly intoxicated.  That does not stop him from delivering one of the “greatest” performances of his career.

Beer Four

I wonder whether Pepsi regrets the massive product placement within the film?  Judging by the massive amount of Pepsi on screen and the film’s low budget, the soda manufacturer likely footed the majority of the bills.

Screen Shot 2015-07-10 at 7.57.28 PM Screen Shot 2015-07-10 at 7.55.19 PM Screen Shot 2015-07-10 at 7.54.31 PM

Beer Five

All dialogue in the film sounds like it was recorded in a tin box. I’ve watched 3 separate versions of the film, one supposedly “remastered” and this issue exists on all copies.  Often times it is impossible to tell what is being said (see the video in Beer Three as an example).

Beer Six

The film is full of small gaffes. Any one error or omission would be bad enough, but put together, it adds up to… well… a full six pack. Here are a few of my favorite examples:

Screen Shot 2015-07-10 at 7.38.57 PM
This man is arrested, put in a cop car, and the car is abandoned, with no further discussion on the subject
Screen Shot 2015-07-10 at 7.41.57 PM
Actor clearly bracing for his squib to go off, shuts eyes before he is supposed to be “shot”

Plug

Verdict

There is so much more to discuss about this film, but nothing more I can say will be able to communicate how much of a failure it all is.  The film is up on Youtube at present, so you have no excuse to avoid it.  If you are a fan of Z-Cinema, this is a must-see.

Six Pack

About Oberst von Berauscht

Oberst Von Berauscht once retained the services of a Gypsy to imbue in him the ability to accurately describe the artistic qualities of a film up to seven decimal points. To maintain this unique skill, he must feast on the blood of a virgin every Harvest Moon, or failing that (and he usually does), he can also make a dog do that thing they do where they twist their heads slightly (you know, when they’re confused about something) at least a few times a week. I’ve gotten way off track here… The point is, Oberst is one of the website’s founders, so… yeah

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