Team America: World Police (2004)

Editors Note:

This past Sunday MovieBoozer.com was subjected to a malicious hacker attack.  After wresting control of our state-of-the-art desert server farm…

TRANSCENDENCE

Seen here, from that day Morgan Freeman dropped by to say hi.

… back from these hackers, we scrambled to secure our pale, sweaty nude selfies and confidential emails (some of them quite heightist- a significant contingent of our writers have not taken Peter Dinklage’s recent cultural prominence very well), only to find out that nothing had been taken or leaked.  All that had changed was the appearance of one post, scheduled for today.  In the interest of journalistic ethics, and because we pretty much publish anything we can get our hands on ’round here, we decided to allow it to run.  Here it is, completely unedited, as is our wont:

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: whenever American imperialist pigs not mind their business

Take a Drink: when destroy treasure global patrimony

Take a Drink: for death of true heroes

Take a Drink: for simpleminded songs singed

Take a Drink: for great honor Immortal Kim Jong-Il FatherHero appearance

Take a Drink: “Suck my cock.”  What this?

chicken-bone-cracked-marrow

Glorious People’s Republic of Korea suck all cock bones maximum nourishment.

Take a Drink: haha one thing all can agree- gorillas funny.  Drink gorilla sound.

Do a Shot: for filthy carnal pleasure-Taking like dog Animals

Community Review

How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Movie Review

By: The Tluth (Six Pack) –

Hi there, GOP here!  No, not Republicans, silly!  Guardians of Peace have much time until dream be destructive as them to America.  No, we make much entertainment Sony’s pain, and also prevent release despicable American propaganda The Interview.  Now we say what we think former Worst Movie Ever Team America: World Police using scale of Beer, because North Korea have very good beer.

north-korean-beer

No seriously.

In movie Team America go across whole world showing evil American Imperialist Regime and killing martyrs world freedom, except Glorious Leader Kim Jong-Il FatherHero, who remain Immortal.  Also, Hollywood group Film Actors Guild, like Alec Baldwin, Sean Penn, Helen Hunt abet destruction of world…. which sound right about.

A Toast

Yeah, fuck Matt Damon.

team_america_matt-damon

Beer Two

L is silly letter that barely exist.  It like these people know no language at all, only English.  Arabic in movie only maybe 30% accurate.

Beer Three

America is always hero Hollywood movie, but NOT hero!  “Collateral damage” always, look see what horrible thing “heroes” of this movie make!  Who made police of world?!  No more we say!

Beer Four

Puppets?  Silly movie, you no see what you do?  Puppets show artificiality Hollywood tropes and ridiculousness American jingoistic attitudes.

pulgasari

Real movie use suit.

Beer Five

You know who puppets?  Trey Parker and Matt Stone, only make construction paper cartoons now U.S. Government flunkies with so obvious Propaganda pro-America.  So much could almost say is genius satire of itself.

Listen this ridiculous music.  Cannot you see how ridiculous?

Beer Six

Music like 9 years old write.  Dirty, profane 9 years old.  But also other production value sitty.  Human offal barely look like that!  Trust us, we should know!  Again, shoddiness just make unintentional comedy.

teamamerica-makeup

Look this makeup job!

Verdict

Why The Interview, why not this you say?  First, internet invented by Stupefying Lord All Survey He Kim Jong-Il 2005.  But also this silly propaganda movie do more harm than good, show American Imperialism and Hollywood Hypocrisy for what is it.

Well… Also, people call Kim Jong-Un fat child; maybe better sense of humor has Kim Jong-Il.

Kim-Jong-Un-and-Dennis-Rodman

He once score 100 basketbarr points.  Very good athrete.  Reave him rone!

Six Pack

About MovieBoozer Staff

International Network of Volunteers, Movie Buffs, and Lushes. Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

2 comments

  1. This is genius. Let’s hope North Korea doesn’t hack our site again because I emailed the office a new round of pantsless selfies.

  2. Didn’t you hear, it was an inside job! Probably Hawk…

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