Swearnet: The Movie (2014)

Drinking Game

Take a Drink: for every F-bomb… haha, no, please, please don’t do that

Take a Drink: every time somebody bugs the guys about Trailer Park Boys

Take a Drink: for… accents?

Take a Drink: for nudity… of all kinds

Take a Drink: for Canadian celebrity cameos

Take a Drink: for gay under/overtones

Take a Drink: just… for everything Pat does

Do a Shot: for every Trailer Park Boys regular you spot

Community Review

How many beers do you recommend for this movie?
1 Beer! A Toast! Great Movie!2 Beers! Good Movie!3 Beers! Okay Movie!4 Beers! Mediocre Movie!5 Beers! Awful Movie!6-Pack! Bad movie! Do not be Sober!

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Movie Review

By: Henry J. Fromage (Five Beers) –

When I first heard about Robb Wells, John Paul Tremblay, and Mike Smith starring in a new comedy called Swearnet, I thought, “Sweet, more Trailer Park Boys!” I bet they’re getting tired of that… in Canada.

swearnet3

Go to New York and bask in the anonymity, guys.

In fact, Swearnet is based on their real-life frustration with, and departure from their most famous characters, and the actual web subscription project that sprung out of it. This being those guys, though, it’s about how profane, crude, and irreverent versions of themselves create the website, and all the incredibly politically incorrect adventures they have along the way.

A Toast

Wells, Tremblay, and Smith essentially create whole new characters for themselves based around their “real-life” personas. Wells is a neutered suburbanite with an overbearing girlfriend, Tremblay is a rally-car driving musclehead with marginally better decision-making skills than the others (so… yeah, he’s Julian), and Smith is the highlight again as the wildcard whose unpredictability often drives the plot.

Bubbles Cat lover

So… yeah.

So, in effect, these guys are simultaneously subverting and maintaining their Trailer Park Boys personas, and the horror in the film works in much the same way. It’s not clever comedy by a long stretch, but it has its moments, especially when it gets a little weird, like with its bizarre loan sharks or Tom Green’s cameo scenes. I admit… I kind of miss Tom Green. Also, I’ll let you decide if this is toast-worthy or not, but I’d be flabbergasted if Swearnet didn’t set some kind of f-bomb record.

Beer Two

The storyline is pure comedy cliché. A henpecked milquetoast, an aloof cool guy, and a likely insane wildcard embark on a wild journey prompted by the wildcard’s wild idea, complete with drug trips and copious male nudity, a second act falling out, and a third act reconciliation in the name of brotherhood, complete with the henpecked guy’s shrill harpy of a significant other getting her comeuppance… sound familiar?

Yeah, it’s been done before two or three times

Beer Three

The humor is crass and crude like we’ve come to love about these guys, but they go overboard with it. Some folks (like the Always Sunny in Philadelphia team and their disastrous Christmas Special… or Tom Green’s own Freddie Got Fingered) actually thrive under TV content restriction, and when you take the restraints off they just don’t know how much is enough. Swearnet is practically an ode to taking a joke and smothering it to death with the lumpy, sweat-stained pillow of unfettered vulgarity.

Beer Four

All of this would be more bearable if Swearnet had as much a sense of place and environment as Trailer Park Boys, or if it developed its characters as well or had the same sneaky streak of heart that series boasts. Instead, it pales in comparison.

Beer Five

Without that reference point, it’s likely to fare even worse. At nearly two hours long, and ever-escalating, Swearnet becomes overblown quickly, and just gets worse from there, finally becoming an assault on the senses not many will tolerate.

swearnet

Swearnet is naked Pat, basically.

Verdict

My wife hated this movie, as probably should everyone with taste and decency. Its shortcomings are obvious, but… Trailer Park Boys, guys! For fans only, but fans may find it worth their while.

Last Call

Stick around for a Trailer Park Boys universe mindfuck.

2beers

About Henry J. Fromage

Movieboozer is a humor website and drinking games are intended for entertainment purposes only, please drink responsibly.

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