Take a Drink: for lazy cultural stereotypes
Take a Drink: for scatological humor
Have a Sidecar: whenever the donkey shits
Take a Drink: whenever one of Sandler’s buddies cashes an easy check
Drink a Bottle of Water: whenever Sandler registers an expression that is anything but deeply depressed.
By: Henry J. Fromage (Six Pack) –
This year, the simplistic erstwhile reflection of the Oscars, The Razzies, somehow didn’t lay into Adam Sandler with all it could like it has in several recent years. Don’t get me wrong, Pixels and The Cobbler still figured heavily in the nominations, and Sandler got a Worst Actor nom for both, but his poorest showing of the year, by far, The Ridiculous 6, did not get a single mention. Was this because it was a Netflix film, or because they didn’t be the ones to finally push Sandler into buying a long hose and enough duct tape to make a garage door airtight?
This is not the face of a happy man.
At the significant risk of beating a dead horse, which is somehow a pun which did not feature in the film, I’ll attempt to justify why The Ridiculous 6 landed on every single Bottom 10 list possible (Armond White probably even enjoyed Spotlight better than it, I bet). The film, as you know already from the title, is a Magnificent Seven riff in which we find that Nick Nolte somehow spawned Taylor Lautner, Jorge Garcia, Terry Crews, Rob Schneider, Luke Wilson, and Sandler himself, all raised by very different mothers in situations of varying degrees of racist/sexist/ableist offense. Anyway, they try to find his gold and save his life from a band of Danny Trejo-led bad guys or something.
God Bless Terry Crews. Also, I have to admit, I laughed at Garcia’s Mountain Man gibberish a few times, even if it’s just Farmer Fran’s old shtick all over again.
I haven’t watched The Waterboy in years, and I’m kind of afraid to.
I mean, honestly, you know what’s up. The humor is juvenile and problematic in every way possible, the effort level is bargain basement, there’s a scene with General Custer, Mark Twain, and Wyatt Earp all playing cards in which they are played by David Spade, Vanilla Ice, and Blake Shelton for some reason, and the only jokes are “General Custard”, Blake Shelton’s Matthew McConaughey (?) impression, and a rapping Mark Twain wishing he was black or something, because, you know, Huckleberry Finn? My head hurts even writing that.
When your racial joke would have played equally well in 1884, you done wrong.
Speaking of race, you all heard about the Native Americans leaving the set en masse during filming when they realized they were starring in a film with jokes like women named “Never Wears Bra” and “Beaver Breath”. The former’s played by Sandler’s wife, btw. Well, there are Native Americans in this film still, but I think all that shows is which Native Americans in Hollywood have the biggest Bolivian marching powder problem.
Also, Rob Schneider is not Mexican. He just has black hair and married a Mexican woman, which he appears to believe gives him license to generate as much racism with as little effort as he can, then broadcast it as far as possible. He’s freaking Juan Valdez with a projectile shitting donkey in this.
No, that’s the entire role.
Admittedly, my description there made it sound like this coouldd be funny, right? Somehow, director Frank Coraci and Sandler have found a way to vacuum seal all of the comedy out of this thing. The timing is all off. Even things that could be funny with the right delivery are stretched to death, beat into the ground through repetition, or just have weird rhythm. For the record, this also happens to jokes that couldn’t be funny regardless, like:
Schneider makes a Home Alone face (26 year old reference unmissable by anyone on the planet).
Spade says- “That’s the face I make when I put on my cologne in the morning. Especially when I’m… Home Alone.”
Somebody with an infinity pool wrote this joke. YOU- you’ll never have an infinity pool.
People with talent get to have infinity pools, right? Or is everything you believe in a lie?
I think Sandler understands this better than any of this. Goddamn he’s unenthusiastic to the extreme in this film. Even when he’s half-heartedly trying to grumble out a Clint Eastwood/Batman (maybe?) accent, or pull off some silly Zohan-y bullshit, he looks like he’s just on the edge of bursting into tears at any minute. Somebody help this man.
Taylor Lautner, though. Taylor Lautner’s loving this shit. He’s going full Dunkaccino, and, just like Al, I actually have to kind of respect it.
Some actors get to be Marlon Brando, and some get to put their everything into… this.
The Ridiculous 6 is exactly as advertised, by, honestly, everyone.